I hate being interrupted from my daily programming session just to get rid of the pizza I ate yesterday and the coffee I had half an hour ago!
Yeah bidets rule! Too bad my shitty dungeon lacks both a bidet and a Japanese techno-toilet and the retarded landlord is too senile to do anything about it!
I will piss in bottles and keep them as weapons just in case a normie or my family makes an impromptu visit, or just gets on my nerves under the balcony.
OP here with another retarded question for you fellow NEETs: Do you prefer being constipated as fuck so that when you shit your brick it tears your anus and you nearly pass out in agony or having the squits so bad that you become as incontinent as a giant tard with scrambled chomosomes or senile old grandmother who can't tell her grandchildren apart.
Personally I prefer constipation because although it is quite literally a pain in the ass to pass at least it gives you the opportunity to procrastinate your pilgrimage to the porcelain throne.
I prefer diarrhea, but again, I have a bidet. It's like the opposite of getting assraped i.e. pure bliss, then my bidet cleans my ass so well I don't even need to wipe. I just sit there shitposting until my ass is dry after getting sprayed.
I honestly can't remember the last time I was constipated tho
A bidet is a luxury for any defecator, TP is a pain in the ass (not so literal this time) and having a jet of cold water blast the tag nuts clinging to your anus is like no other feeling in the world. When I was a kid I did just the same, waste 15 minutes on the shitter with a gameboy clean up, sit on bidet and blast the arse clean, wait another 15 minutes with the gameboy while my ass dries and hey-presto my work here is done!
I hate having my hair cut
I don't mind it much to be honest. I like dicking away on my phone when i'm on the shitter. At least i don't piss blood once a month.
I like shitting because it’s a good way to waste time and sit on my laptop or phone, but I hate cleaning my asshole. It takes forever.
I have to agree with the other anons here, invest in a bidet or Japnese techno-toilet