I end up spending all day on youtube and constantly refreshing forums holy fuck I hate it just reblocked youtube, it's horrible how these sites are designed, my fucked up brain may have something to do with it though.
have any of you lad had any similar problems?
>it's horrible how these sites are designed
Yes, not so much with YouTube anymore. That phase ended for me around 6-7 years ago. I ended up going on anime binges, then TV show binges, and for the last three years it's been imageboards. Now that's slowly fading out. I'm not sure what's going to end up becoming the new one. It's getting harder for me to enjoy things as much. I'm starting to want to play video games again, maybe that'll be it.
What about film? I've been watching 2-3 movies a day now for a few months. Mostly 90's- early 2000s american shit.
>Imageboards (literally all of them)
Literally months of my life. All because of my escapism addiction based around me wanting to "escape" from any and all of my negative emotions. But, this process of escaping also brings suffering in the form of extreme guilt and self-hatred which I cope with by escaping MORE!
Thank God I have been seeing a therapist so I may extract myself from this hedonistic infinitely-recurring pit of sound and noise.
Website and program blocking software are God's gift. Leechblock works very well on my computer, my phone on the other hand...
Yes, I've been on binges with films as well. I should have noted that alongside TV shows. I also watch a lot of stuff between 90s and early 2000s. I've tended to gravitate more towards the late 70s and 80s more recently. Up until February I was watching around 1-2 films a week. I take a notion sometimes to go back even further to watching between the 1930s and 1950s.
Jesus christ, you guys are literally me!
Every time I had something bad happen to me, I watched so many Anime shows, it's insane. Last time I had a bad time finantially, I re-watched all of Star Trek. Literally all of it (this was before Discovery and Picard came out) but year, I watched every single episode of every single show, and every single movie.
I watched over 600 Anime series (including all sequels and every movie), this was mainly when I was younger. I mostly now watch the entire pool of videos from youtubers. I watched every video of The Anime Man, Akidearest, and their new Trash Taste podcast. I also watched most of CDawgVA videos, even though I don't even like him. I watched most of Glass Reflection videos, and pretty much all of Scott Manley's Videos. Just last week, I watched twenty or so Kitboga videos alone, which are 30 - 120min each. Of the 16-18 hours per day that I'm awake, I spend around 10-12 hours on youtube and other video websites.
I literally can't help myself, because the moment I go off of it, the crushing depression makes me wanna kill myself.
>A few months ago my therapist convinced me to put my phone and laptop in my parents room for the night, where I can't access it.
>After doing so I sit on the basement couch and feel the emotion I have been avoiding for all of this time.
>It's like a small shot of poison in my soul.
>Sitting there I can see it from a meta 3rd-person perspective.
>It doesn't feel good, but it's really not the end of the world.
>Decide to change, and reach for a more stable happiness.
>Feel better immediately.
I can't help but open a certain app to see if someone has messaged me, even though I don't want to talk to anyone anymore
I want to drop this habit someday
I always get ensnared by turning my computer on first thing after going to the bathroom after waking up. Then I sit there mindlessly browsing until I'm ready to pass out or start getting extremely hungry.
wew I think I read every manga with the word isekai in the title back in the day, I am considering seeing a therapist, what should I talk to him about? how should I approach my parents about it, how should I find a good one?
they might decline altogether.
what specifically should I say I wanna go in for,
same questions for you,
I like blocking it manually with sys32 since it's a pain to unblock,
another thing that helped me immensely is removing my TV(it was right in front of my bed) and having my habit tracker being placed somewhere visible, habit tracker and a work journal are kino I also have a list of things I rewrite every day can share it if you guys are intereste just quotes I like a lot.
Why not now?
>what should I talk to him about?
Only you know that. Therapists only work if you want to change your life situation or way of being.
The greatest thing my therapist did for me was to give me the tools to help myself. The most significant tool was born out of a conversation on both that;
1. I was unsatisfied with my life.
2. The way I imagined fixing my life was through categorizing it, in a written form.
Therefore, my therapist handed me a small yellow legal-pad; the utility of which was revealed after I came up with the idea of writing the goals I wanted to get done before the next meeting, every meeting. This gave me not only the clarity in what to do with my time, but also a weekly dose of accountability for my actions. I failed often, the legal-pad even stopped working after a while, but I have slowly redirected my life to a more satisfying place.
>removing my TV
>having my habit tracker being placed somewhere visible
>a work journal
Stuff like this is what therapists can help with, even if it's only added accountability (you feel more guilty for not doing something you promised to do). The coolest stuff is when a therapist suggests a solution or problem you havent even thought of.
>how should I approach my parents about it
Only you know your parents, anon.
>how should I find a good one?
I found mine through government programs because I've been medically diagnosed with Autism and ADHD; you'll just have to build the mental fortitude to look such things up online, possibly through local and federal government programs like I did, possibly through some different methods. Apparently, therapists work through building a relationship, a certain rapport. You can't really know of a therapist's compatibility with you until you meet them, apparently the company I go to allow you to switch between different therapists if one isn't working out. It's always a little awkward at the beginning, but not that bad because they don't judge. Female's work fine, I assume because they're more naturally empathetic.
>what specifically should I say I wanna go in for,
It could be something vague life "self-improvement", "self refinement", or "getting my life on track". Or, something that your mental perception of your "idealized self" (your future fully self-actualized self) has, but the current you, does not.
>removing my TV
>having my habit tracker being placed somewhere visible
>a work journal
you don't know how many failures I had to get through to come to these conclusions,
thanks a lot for the other advice, the stuff you mentioned that I already knew was life changing, the other stuff must be pretty good.
if you ever wanna hit me up my emails [email protected](this is not a joke).
I keep putting this off but this could genuinely help me out a lot. thanks a lot lad
I feel you.
It's like those sites are designed to hook you on the most useless, meaningless content. Even "educational" videos are shallow in reality.
>Hurr. Here's the top ten facts about Alaska!
You FEEL like you are smarter, you FEEL like you have learned something. In reality, you've only picked up some trivial factoid.
I think engaging in that sort of content fries your brain in a way: making it harder to focus and expecting short hits of dopamine in everything. Reading is more challenging for me than it used to be. Even focusing anime is harder.
I'm trying to eliminate it from my life. It hasn't led to anything good. Just a big timesink.
lad I doubt you're still here but I did end up going to therapy for this and I ended up so much better, had a really fun day today.
How are you doing lad? I know you probably won't answer but see you space cowboy.
Same, I hate it so fucking much. I currently waste my entire day on youtube, tiktok, imageboards, twitter. I can't stop, I don't know what else to do, everything else is boring, but scrolling social media is boring too. It geniously feels like an hell you can't escape.
I am diagnosed with adhd and autism too, I changed therapist 7 times because they're all awful in my country, especially where I live. Do you have any other tip for those who can't go to a therapist? I tried everything you said, I tried with journals, lists, quitting social media. I honestly don't know what else to try. In a few days I have to meet a new therapist that I hope will prescribe me Ritalin, it's my last chance. If that doesn't work I'm afraid I will fail at life forever.