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Vent thread No.2594

Post in this thread to vent about anything you like :)


Well, okay. This gets fucking feelsy though.
>be me, britfag
>get diagnosed with autism at age four
>was relatively happy until final years of secondary school
>assistant teacher was abusive, work became unbearable
>drop out
>get into a college but end up failing so i can't do the other half, probably as a result of burn-out from previous secondary school
>become neet
>found out that primary school played favorites and only supported me because my mom worked there
>found out that i wasn't even planned, i was just made into existence because my older brother and sister wanted a little sibling
>everything i knew in my life was a lie
How the fuck do I come back from being a neet now that I know all of this?


I love her so much.


I feel finally free.
When you realize that meeting new people is painful, it is easy to no longer bother.


It's sad having no friends, but at least no one judges me for being like this


Perfect girlfriend marterialize? or make money and fuck whores?

Life choices...


Banned from wizchan for being a girl after posting there for years it is so unfair. I am not even a girl.


I know someone capped this and posted it on wizchan.. I seen it. Tell the mods to unban me they know I am a guy.
omg.. im not a girl ffs I just sound like one


I cannot send emails to the [email protected] I get an error. The mods have my pictures I had to prove I was male.
Can someone make a /meta/ thread about this I already appealed this is a bullshit ban.

Do I need to send my wand again?




>for years
CC shitter lying on the internet, meanwhile was just some newfag washed in from CC a few months ago.


hopefully admin does not unban you again this time, you probably got your brother to pose for pictures but just couldn't help subtly revealing that you are a female over and over
>inb4 n-n-no I just got my witch friend to record
voice clips for me :))

you are such a liar too you have been on wizchan for like 6 months at most lmao


imagine being so fugly as a tranny or female that you gotta act like you belong on a male reject site to spite them when you COULD be taking the stacypill and forgetting about wasting time on the internet completely


ummm.. excuse me.
I'm totally a guy a man and I did not get someone to record a girls vocide for me I have no friends you people know this omg..
I posted a vocaroo and was banned for being a girl but im not a girl.

i'm a man I cnanot help having a girls voice so lay off me.
I don't want to be a stacy I am a wizard.. I am not a tranny omg you people are so thick headed.
fuck off madcuck
yes for years I just lurked mainly.. and yes I came from CC

How can I get baned for being a girl? omg..


Word to the wise for this site's mod: permaban this CCposter IMMEDIATELY

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>noooo im like totally not this or that guys, fall for my bullshit so i can keep trolling virgin men btw i have bpd!!!!!!


I just have to prove I am a male again so no big deal :3
You think I am a girl omg just shut up i'm a guy or why else would I be posting on wizchan?

I have never trolled anyone on wizchan I get attacked all the timebecause some bozo thinks I am a girl.. I just sound like a girl trust me please.

Why would the mods say I am a confirmed male if I was a girl?




I will be back.
May as well troon out with how I keep getting misgendered..


>May as well troon out
Don’t. I’ll be your friend, CCposter.


even if you THINK you had a chance of coming back, it will be the last mistake made and nobody even wants you back. Fuck, /b/ is looking better without your shit too


how can I become friends with you?
Will you leave a throw away email? I am not good at making friends I talk to people and then get paranoid or feel weird and isolate but I can try.
You just don't understand me


kill yourself CC tranny. I'll hire pajeets to spam porn and gore if you come back.


You will spam porn and gore that is so pathetic omg fragile much


You will never be a wizard. You will never post on wizchan again. Kill yourself.

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who would want to understand you after everything you did? consider not coming back unless you want to see the mods suffer as much as you claim to "care" about them.

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I hate normalfags. They're everywhere now and the only hobbies they haven't ruined are the ones they're working on ruining. I want to use an internet without those creatures, I want to use an imageboard without the damned things. They're worse than fucking roaches.
>that is so pathetic omg fragile much
I don't know much about you but if you really are a guy you don't type like it and if you're a girl you're awful at disguising yourself. Did you even lurk for long enough before disguising yourself? You're not making a convincing case for yourself.


i'm a guy and I have been on the internet for a while these posters are from another website for the most part.

I think normies trancesnd the typical definition and include people who are unable to be an individual and make their entire identity whatever the collective appears to to think on the surface.
They are all over the sites I use now that were originally for people who differed.


Kill yourself.




You are obsessed and this makes it the third website you have harrassed me on.. umm obsessed much.. pathetic much

You claim to have discovered I am a girl with your evidence and now claim I am a tranny or something and sweety if I was a tranny why would I be on the wizard chan omg..

Make up your mind bozo am I a girl or a transexual because you claim I am a girl and spent months attacking me and then changed it to transexual and then back to girl.. This is why I prefer talking with other girls instead of men who just get so catty and aggressive like what are you trying to prove?


>This is why I prefer talking with other girls
which you spent months not doing, giving more reason for any gender to think you are full of shit and heavily absorbed in subversion of other communities that you fake ignorance of


Excuse me? What are you trying to say? Subversion of what? I am not the one spamming images of transexuals all day.

I deny being a girl I deny being a transgender person I deny yoru allegations which are just conspiracy brain farts.

I was talking with my friends that are girls until recently but it is not wise to admit I talk to girls on that website out of respect for the rules. The mods know this as I showed them screen shots from some voncersations I have had to show that I am not trying to "subvert" or troll and they understand this well.
I think maybe they told me not to talk about having friends who are girls but do not quote me.

Accept me as who I am please I accpt everyone else.


you want me to accept you when you have the nerve to call it "conspiracy brain farts"? really? "wuuuhh wuhhh the mods know the truth!" you stupid weasel, of course you think the lack of what they share is somehow proof of anything when so far there is more proof of you gleefully shitting up the place. mods are not your fucking source of defense, especially if they are the ones that issued the ban in the first place. you are disruptive, highly annoying, and you know it


Leave me alone, please, I do not want to get attacked for simply existing.


i will leave you alone if you disappear or just shut the fuck up about the things you talk about to bait everyone into anger that you enjoy doing, and even if i stopped, you still got perhaps two more people keeping eyes on you and i already know who did the deed of linking this thread


I want to shut up, i'm sorry for being stupid.


Revolting subhuman feigning ignorance and innocence, but delights in ruining wizchan ans shitting up every site it goes on until people eventually run it off. Kill yourself you vile abomination. You will never be a wizard, you will never post on wizchan again.


>if you really are a guy you don't type like it and if you're a girl you're awful at disguising yourself.
it is just a larp, this poster does it on purpose, same poster claimed it pisses its bed because it is too lazy to get up and also claims it watches anime porn on the tv with its mom


also this person constantly claims it is completely disabled and only gets help from social workers and "cleaners" but slips up occasionally and mentions previous jobs, its family, and the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol it consumes


I'll email you if you leave your email.


What does CC mean? Is it Chris Chan in the context of a faggot autismo tranny posting?


NEET is NEET, regardless of whether you're a male or female. Stop being retarded and stay on /r9k/ and/or Wizchan if the idea of women existing disgusts you. Don't bring your brain damage onto this board.

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Women are never neets though and if they are it's just because they're lazy. If a roastie comes along onto a board for neets then it's very likely she's looking for attention. That's what they always do on the internet. It's not brain damage, it's just how women are.


Don't be retarded, women can be hikkis too. Admittedly, normie women come on boards for neets quite a bit, but this does not mean that no hikki women exist.






this isn't even a vent thread
just some dumb edrama no one cares about


Agreed, the admin should delete this thread


W-where is that cute CCposter?!? I wanna smack her BUTT ^_^




Oh yeah, I remember one time I helped a dude get on their discord and verify himself so he can get access.


>jumps to faggotry22.png


Me on the left
CCposter on the right


>Oh yeah, I remember one time I helped a dude get on their discord and verify himself so he can get access.


Sometimes I feel as if I was going crazy, but the sad kind


Okay, here's how I did it.
>guy wants to verify himself onto cc discord
>cc discord requires a voice check for full verification
>forks over his login details to me to get him verified
>verification goes off without a hitch and now he's in
Could I have done something horrible to this dude's discord if I wanted to? Yes. But i didn't.


Why would he need your voice?
That's the weird thing


Crystal Cafe's discord requires a voice verification to make sure you're a girl if you want to get fully verified. Yes, that's how much they don't like dudes.


They a buncha trashy catty bitches anyways LMAO. Now where is that cute CCposter?!?!?! ^_^


I was pointing out you’re a girl which makes two of them here unless you’re the admin’s gf.


Shit like this is why people say women are trouble everywhere they go. Nobody listens to that sentiment, nobody gatekeeps, and then women waltz in and burn the place while anybody who notices is ridiculed.


Nah, i'm just some rando fem neet.


I want to get a job which requires no skills or training and where I don't have to talk to people


I feel so withdrawn and as if I do not want to talk to anyone because there is no point.

They need to keep men out because just look how awful they can be for no reason.
maybe try train for one? I want the same thing but do not want to work I just want people to leave me alone.
All I see is a bucnh of men who waltz in and atatck someone for being a woman or suspected woman. omg seriously


she's def not me :3


the way this thread has gone reminds me of that study where they found that men actually get significantly more online harassment than women, but (a) they're far less likely to report it and (b) it's not nearly as gender focused as female harassment is. instead it's more varied. I can't find a source that isn't the guardian or the daily mail cba to keep looking so feel free to take your pinch of salt on this one


If I had to guess it's probably do to trolling rather than being of a sexual nature.


I get mistaken for a girl and this thread is proof of how much hate woman get online for simply being born as a woman.


well, yes, but my point in bringing up that study is that men get just as much hate but for different reasons... or at least seemingly different reasons. it's entirely possible that if they didn't mistake you for a girl, they'd just find some other thing and keep going.

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Girl's perspective: women are sexist af and it's honestly so fucking annoying how they shit all over men. I have never been harassed for my gender online. I've seen so many sexist comments, "let's make this a women's world!" FUCK THAT ...


>Ignoring the fact that most, if not all annoying namefags are male.
>Ignoring the fact that most, if not all shitty imageboard admins are male. (Most notably 8chan)
>Ignoring the fact that all imageboard shooters have been male.

Golly gee...


there have been mass shooters (though not imageboard shooters) in the past that have been female, but as you might expect they got very little media coverage and lenient sentences relative to the male ones. they're much rarer even accounting for that, but that has more to do with how women tend to, as a whole, commit violence in ways that aren't physical, such as social ostracization or emotional manipulation.


keep your incel stuff off here thank you


? it's not incel stuff. it's common knowledge, I thought. cat fights are so vicious because when girls get violent they aim to kill each other, instead of guys who fight just to prove dominance. I'm not saying every girl is violent, I'm saying girls get violent differently than guys do.


and men are more violent so lets not go starting any gender wars here.


they're more violent physically, yes.. that is my point. and if all it takes to start a gender war is pointing out an obvious difference between the two then what kind of absurd balancing act is the whole world doing to stop that from happening constantly?


Girls perspective: I fucking hate women especially (You)


ok bro

tits or it didnt happened


most of my friends went to a party hosted by one of them. i wasn't invited so I didn't go. i drank today. i should distance myself, I picked up yet another addiction, that being talking to friends on discord. how do I go back to working out and never talking to anyone.


I'm bored in such a way that it makes me suicidal, like I'm a 99 year old who has seen and done everything worthwhile and life has nothing good enough to offer anymore. I see other people who have or start to settle into monotony and routine and I can't imagine that being my future. I need novelty and excitement. And don't tell me to do things, I have tried many things to keep myself busy, I need something bigger, I can't find joy in the small mundane things. I have had some great experiences but, at the same time, my life has never really started, I'm fucking done.




Once people get tired of you, it's easy
I can't stop using that crappy website for some reason but I hope you can


Joy needs to come from within with a change of perspective because you won't be able to constantly run on a tight rope.


it's nice to be in that place where you have nothing to lose (if something bad happens like homelessness i'll just kms.) i'm free and i don't feel shame anymore. i will die one day, and will be forgotten, and it doesn't matter. i can do what i want with no remorse.


I know what you mean anon and we are lucky to have found it because many never get to see life this way. Obviously it hurt enough to get here but once you step outside of everything you can just stop caring and even learn to try enjoy the small delights that life holds.

Just quit talking to everyone anon and quit all forms of social media or at least limit it so you are not using them daily. Your friends are probably not even your friends and you should tell them you were hurt by whatt hey did.
Don't act liek a faggot be straight up


and now we're no longer friends lmao. from my understanding, the friend group completely fell apart when a chick that joined for 3 months (group age around 2 years) took issue with my humor. she didn't enjoy me shitting on women, and using incel-esqe terms like femoid in comedic situations.
she took issue with it, didn't tell me for 3 months, then just exploded into a very argumentative rant where most everyone who had just met her 3 months ago had turned against me (at least half of them I had known since elementary school, around 11 years).
i don't like being pushed around or being forced to do things. when people had problems with things I did, and they got in contact privately with me, we always worked something out and everyone was happy. she berated me and demanded I changed the way I talked and joked in our discord's general chat, I told her to go fuck herself. and about a month later i moved 2000k kms to a new city anyway.
all in all, most of my friends stabbed me in the back to white-knight for a chick who they practically just met, and don't even talk to anymore. to top it all off, now they barely talk to each other as well, and I've come out of the situation unironically more misogynistic than i was before.


Would you have felt much different if one guy had stuck up for you? I think the thing that should have stuck out was how readily guys white-knight.


that stuck out as well, and i with in the car with a friend from the group at the time of this going off the rails. he had just been played with by a chick for around half a year, so his view of women was the most favorable. i had let him know i understood where he was coming from, and agreed to many extents. i also got him going to the gym (hence why we were together).
sticking up for me in the situation would've been social suicide. i told him to just stay out of it as there was no point in a social suicide pact. I'm glad i built up an ally and friend, but ultimately it wouldn't have changed anything. the majority of the group was set in their ways, had let a random woman join the group, and let her destroy the group for the second time now (2 different women each time)


>and i with in the car with a friend
was in the car with*
>his view of women was the most favorable
view was most unfavorable*


Female homewreckers turn me on.


I agree wholeheartedly. It wouldn't be as annoying if women were at least held to some similar behavioral standards as men and were called out whenever they go around starting problems or just being generally rude or even hostile but they never do so they keep going about their ways like children who were never told "no". Because they rarely get told to quit their shit they get so amazingly smug and are borderline incapable of even considering the possibility that they ever did or do anything wrong. It's actually kind of disgusting and a little concerning as to how horrible they might truly be.
In a way, I feel their love for makeup serves as something of a metaphor. They'll slather their faces all over it to look like a model but when it comes off you can finally see the hag underneath and the damage done to her skin that reflects her personality. Honestly this thread just proves anyone with complaints about how women conduct themselves correct.
Anime girls might not be real but they at least don't go around trying to be a smug and immature asshole for fun (not as often, at least). Thanks for being willing to call out the other members of your own gender on their crap by the way, it would be nice if more women would talk some sense into each other.


As far as losers online in obscure or loser communities I don't think it matters much if someone is a woman because someone who actually belongs wont be acting like some normalfag anyway if they even belong at all.
WOman have some natural inclinations they cannot help as with men but you are not wrong that unless they somehow developed independently how to conduct themselves and grow as person they wont.

Woman shit everything up in tandem with the men who indulge them it is just a matter of fact and I think it is best if people just dont go attention whoring over their sex but it will never stop.


This existence thing is too much effort.

Doing things is exhausting. Doing nothing is exhausting. I don't know what to do.


Why is everyone on wizchan either a uni fag or white collar worker? They are the definition of normal. It's painfully obvious nobody there is even a virgin.


That’s because you use /dep/.


many of them are but still normal


Yeah you're probably right.

The site's entire premise is fatally flawed. A wizard can do everything a normie does, yet not be a normie because he is a virgin. But if you're (for example) a mentally ill hikki-neet who had sex one time in your life then guess who will be called the normalfag? Wizchan is like a failed experiment but somehow the show keeps on going.


It all comes down to the site being prescriptive and not descriptive. There are not enough fully-fledged wizards i.e. not apprentices for a site anyways.


agree. ou can have had sex and belong in the fucked up loser outcast club even more than someone who is just a virgin and is able to work


>t. sex-haver


Yeah stay away from /dep/ at all costs. It also has wageslave general which is the most normalfag thread on the site tbh. That board only serves to attract the tourists so they don't shit up the other boards, which are still decent or at least tolerable.


Sick of searching "NEET" and being flooded with videos by fucking Indians talking about their National Eligibility Entrance Test.


One day they’ll change the name, and we’ll all breathe out a collective sigh of relief.


>decide to check my old facebook for old times sake
>all of my classmates, including the pricks who harrassed me and made my life a living hell, have better lives than me, one even getting married and another having a fucking kid
>meanwhile i'm basically a neet who has never stepped one foot outside my mother's basement
Talk about a punch right in the fucking face. I know i'm not special in discovering this but it is still a fucking punch in the face, knowing that normies who were nothing but cunts to me are leading happy lives and they probably don't even remember doing that to me.


>tfw too dumb and depressed to get rich off crypto


>another having a fucking kid
That kid is going to be a normalfag; the cycle repeats itself.


brain is too full. Like i have thousands of unclosed tabs that I can't close because my browser is lagging too much. I don't know how to make more room or make my head less full. I feel like I can't do anything while my head is like this, but after a while of trying to do nothing, I feel like i'm wasting my time, so I try to do something. But after doing something, it feels like my head is even fuller. I'm not sure how to get something in my head out of my head or find some closure with it. They just keep piling up. I can't do anything, because there's too many options. If I do something, I just remember all the other possible things I could be focusing on instead. too much stuff massive fog of stuff. can't add any more stuff to the pile

Also, i dislike how arbitrary peoples good fortune is. If i'm lucky enough to have something good happen to me, there are a thousand people who just didn't have that happen. I don't get how people can be satisfied with that. I want to not care and just do or say anything without caring at all about anything except maybe ethics but nothing else besides that but stupid dumb retarded illogical irrational annoying lump of brain flesh nonsense thing cares for no reason. I don't like how brains are completely irrational. care about irrational things for literally no reason, and suffer when they don't get those things even though there's no actual reason they need those things. The brain just arbitrarily is that way. Like the desire for affection, or validation or attention. If we didn't have it, it'd be so much easier to survive and live a happy life, with one less desire to fulfil, but it's there, and that desire exists and tortures you for no reason than just because it does. This brain makes no sense. It's jabberwocky. I don't enjoy running around like a bunny chasing a carrot on a treadmill. All i'm doing is trying to get my brain to release feel good chemicals in whatever completely irrational way it demands of me. So in that sense, i'm a slave to the whims of a lump of matter that only exists the way it does by random chance and natural selection. If I don't do what it wants of me, or I do something it doesn't want me to do, it releases feel bad chemicals to punish me.

I'm not free. An all encompassing, fundamental prison we've been conditioned to accept. I'll never be free. Not until my consciousness is freed from this brain. ...Only, this can't happen, as consciousness cannot exist independently of it (Well, probably anyway.)

So tedious. It's so tedious. And boring. and whatever adjectives or whatever. Language is so limiting. There's things in my head that can't be put into words or can't be fully expressed in words, or at least, expressing it fully would take too much effort, and even then nobody speaks me-ese so really they'd interpret what I express in their own language as opposed to in my language. So nobody can understand anybody. So everybody is completely alone, speaking a language only they understand. They can try to express what's inside of them as best as they can, but you can never fully express what you want to without facing the limits of expression. I always question why I even do things. I feel like all i'm ever doing is trying to appease my ego, and I feel so pathetic for it. But then i'm unsure if that's necessarily a bad thing, and maybe the ego is actually good, but then again, maybe ego death should be the goal. So it'd probably be up to interpretation of your values, which ironically only exist as a product of your ego. or something. well whatever anyway. This neverending haze.

Even now my brain is filtering things. Most people seem to act the same. Whether it be in the real world or online, or on one social media site or another, most people act the same. Speak the same way, hold the same ideas ect. It does get kind of dull. So i'm always impressed by people who have the courage to go against the grain, and just be unapologetically different, without caring. Those people are like my idols. I see them as gods. Well, unless them going against the grain involves them hurting people, which is bad, but otherwise yeah. So I want to be completely unapologetically different whenever I want to be, but my brain feels too weak for that. And it's always a weird balance between risk and comfort. You might have these grand desires, but pursuing them usually leads to great pains, and maybe an eventual payoff if you're lucky, whereas staying where you are may dissatisfying maybe, but it's generally comfortable. I'd like to reach higher and be better, but it's easier to just be comfortable, and some desires simply can't be fulfilled anyway. Plus, I always fight with myself about whether it's better to detach from desire or satiate desire. And i'm really unsure what's better.

Obviously like the buddhists and stuff will tell you desire is the root of suffering (jt is) and that you should detach from it, but really, if you're going to do that, you should just kill yourself. it's the logical conclusion. And I do think suicide is the logical conclusion to life anyway (if you can't prevent even greater suffering with your life anyway). but i'm not exactly a logical being, and even if I recognize suicide as the logical thing to do, that doesn't mean i'm a robot. I don't just unfeelingly do the most logical thing. I mean, I wish I did, but i'm just a human. At least I can try to be as better as I can be, and I try to be, even if I can't be perfect, but it's so much easier to just be kinda comfortable and not try.

I'm sorry for the wall of text, really. But I figure it doesn't really matter anyway and i'd like to care less so i'll make it anyway. Plus, this was my brain spitting this out not me, even though it is me, and that's completely stupid.


Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I can't cry? I might cry for a few seconds if I try really hard, but never for that long. I hear people talk about crying for minutes and even hours, and i'm surprised that's even possible? How do you cry for so long without stopping? Whenever I cry for even a little bit I get so happy because it feels so nice, the feeling of tears feeling down your face feels so good, and I really desperately want to feel it. But I also get sad because I know the tears won't last.

My head feels like it has so much pressure like my soul is trying to burst out, but nothing is able to come out. It just stays inside me and it kinda hurts and it kinda doesn't feel like anything also. It's more like needing to sneeze but being unable to sneeze, but in this case i'm not sure what the alternative to the "needing to sneeze" is because I can't imagine or comprehend what that would feel like. Everything is vaguely dissatisfying, but I simply don't believe there's an alternative: That anyone ACTUALLY finds things satisfying really. The idea that they actually do just isn't something I can comprehend, like the blind from birth can't imagine sight. I don't know what it is. I think i'm desperate to express something inside me, but then I don't know for who i'd be expressing it for. It's like the idea of something needing to be seen to exist. For some reason me seeing myself express something isn't enough to validate that it actually exists. And so I think because i'm completely alone, I can't feel like I exist. But other people seeing me doesn't seem to work either, even though that's what my brains asking of me. My brain is an entire universe, and you can't travel between universes because there's nothing in-between them to travel through to get to each other except nothingness, and this impenetrable nothingness divides people and traps them completely alone in their own universe. All of us are universally alone, eternally alone, absolutely alone, so alone it can't even be put into words. The only person here is me... So how am I supposed to convince myself that I exist, that I am in my own company? That my company even matters?

All these emotions are there, my brain reacts to them like the brain should. Like, it desires to feel pleasure, experiences that pleasure, feels emotional pain and sadness and anxiety and anger. And yet even though those emotions exist, they feel like imitations of those emotions. They exist, and yet somehow they feel translucent and null, like my hands should slip through through them. That kind of imitation. What does "realness" feel like? All of existence is nothing trying to imitate something, so it makes sense that everything would feel like nothing. But that nothing IS trying to imitate something, so surely that something exists... I don't know

I'm sorry for posting my word vomit. I used to write stuff like this on a note and i'd always eventually delete them and that made me feel really empty and it felt like it didn't exist at all. Maybe I might post stuff like this sometimes here when my brain starts getting itchy and stuff so it stops being so itchy even though it won't actually stop being super itchy cause its always itchy but yeah.

I have no idea what I want.


What's the point of it all anyways?
I was thinking about how bad my PC is, and that people move on to new games. People don't really have friends, since everyone just uses each other to gain something , like entertainment or pleasure, etc.
Only those that don't care about the worldly things are capable of being a friend, but there aren't many souls on Earth these days. Hopefully God comes soon.


He's not real


Everyone hates me.


I hate remembering stuff, or having dreams, about the past.
Like I just randomly remember, or something I come into contact with regularly, makes me remember the painful moments of the past etched into me.
Those people got their pleasure out of being terrible to me, and now IIII have to live with those memories forever, while they've moved on and have forgotten it. They probably only have memories of their accomplishments. I sometimes think about what it would be like if something similar to the stuff from the butterfly effect movie happened. I think I'd be much more assertive to those that treated me poorly. The good thing is that I was very tall and muscular in highschool. Like the time I walked down the hall towards my class, and a kid made fun of how I walked and the girls behind him laughed with him. If I could go back, then I'd have put him into the wall, along with the girls and whoever else stepped up. Though no-one would've stepped up, since I'm SIGNIFICANTLY larger and more muscular than most people in the world. I suppose it's good that I was so friendly my whole life, otherwise I would've had a much more rough life.


The internet... Is kinda terrible. There's something sad going on in me where my brain needs humans. It's more insatiable than that though, like a bottomless hunger for validation and praise, that in the end, only makes me feel worse. A momentary high, and than back to the emptiness - A void that nothing can fill. I don't know where it happened, but the idea of having "real life" friends, somewhere along the line, exited my mind as something I ever thought about. I never even realized this absolute disinterest I have for real life relationships until this moment. And i'm unsure if it's the concept of real life friendship, or the reality, or both that turn me off.

Ever since I was young, it's been pretty obvious to me that all relationships were formalities. I knew in reality that my friends didn't care about me, so I never deluded myself into thinking they did. I know my family only say they "love me" because that's the social norm, when in reality, they don't have a single meaningful thing in common with me. And i've always had low tolerance for acts and formalities, so maintaining friendships was always nigh impossible. I always felt like I was just dancing around on the surface. And, well, maybe that's fine. But media has ruined me. I'd always see the kinds of friendship portrayed in games and stuff and lament the reality of just how shallow human connection really is.

I suppose that's why online connections appeal to me more. There's fewer formalities, and fewer facades. Um, well, in theory. In truth, the dishonesty of the average internet user kinda makes me want to vomit. They only ever speak ironically to avoid being forced to present their real selves to anyone. And the conversations online have all the exact same annoying formalities as in real life, it feels exactly the same! I'm just dancing on the surface, wondering if anyone else truly cares about whatever inane shit is being talked about, cause' I sure don't. Maybe that kind of shallowness is fine. I can't necessarily call it wrong. But that doesn't change how it makes me feel. A sneeze, like there's a sneeze, and at any moment, we could have a REAL conversation, and yet humans seem to continuously skirt above the surface as if conversations were gymnastics.

I suppose the problem is that humans are self-centered. Well, not a problem, perse, but... I don't care about anyone else but myself. I only care about what I have to gain from them, whether that be their praise and validation, experience, information, something more practical, or something more abstract. The truth is that I don't care about anyone else. And nobody else does either. Yet most of us want to be cared about. This is the depressing dilemma we find ourselves in. My own self-centeredness disgusts me. I don't think I can change it, but it is kind of a pity. At least, I care about others suffering. I'll prevent it as long as the harm to me isn't that great.

What am I supposed to do? Right now i'm at a crossroads with no idea which path to take. Neither path is ideal - Both have their benefits and drawbacks. Should I completely withdraw from human contact, or keep trying? The former really does appeal to me more, and at the end of the day, the only reason I interact with people is to try and fill some emptiness inside of me. If I was full; Content; Satisfied; I wouldn't try. But then there's this emptiness, that won't just fill itself. And more than anything, I just want to fill it. Do I feel empty precisely because of the shallowness of my social world? Could having real friends fill this void? Or is that an illusion? Should I, instead, learn to live with this emptiness? Acceptance, or improvement... I can never choose between these two things. They pull me around listlessly. All i'm really trying to do is feel satisfied. I just don't know how to get there, or if there even is a path there.

And I want everyone else to feel satisfied as well. Every one of you deserves better.

Anon, I hope one day you can find some peace with your past.

hope.png (1.39 MiB, 1028x708) google saucenao

>What am I supposed to do?

Let me preface, you are extremely self aware in your situation.
I'm confident you'll figure it out.

Some key truths:
>It's more insatiable than that though, like a bottomless hunger for validation and praise, that in the end, only makes me feel worse
>But media has ruined me. I'd always see the kinds of friendship portrayed in games and stuff and lament the reality of just how shallow human connection really is.
>humans are self-centered
>They only ever speak ironically to avoid being forced to [confront] their real selves

>Right now i'm at a crossroads with no idea which path to take. Neither path is ideal - Both have their benefits and drawbacks. Should I completely withdraw from human contact, or keep trying?
May I suggest a third path for you to think on?
My suggestion is to find things you care about, and then connect with people through those things.

Here's a quote for you to think on which I've previously shared on this chan, but now host it here:

Good day!


I am a guy
Not attracted to women, real, fake or pseudo
I don't get why people here hate women but love the 2d ones
2d women are written to be desirable, to be able to love anyone no matter how bad they are, real women have objectives and such, like almost everyone else
2d will never be real so they are worthless, real ones that will care about you might not exist but they can be real
Then there's the physical attractiveness factor, which is more understandable, since art can make anything look pleasing, closer to perfection, maybe you just don't like real people and I understand that
I hope I don't get 10 people hating, I want someone to try to explain this to me


I don't actually hate 3D women (although I have no interest in them).
The fact that 2D girls aren't real is exactly why I love them. They're drawn to perfection without the flaws and gross features of 3D. They're simple and easy to understand and their personalities are cute and recognizeable and the sense of familiarity makes me feel closer to them.
2D girls respect how pathetic I am and don't go out of their way to hurt me. I feel safe with them.


Started using duckduckgo, because I can't stand the bs on the go*gle homepage.
So sick of non-whites and women pretending to be oppressed when they are the ones destroying/corrupting the world.
I hope God comes soon, because I can't stand the flesh-golems He made.




Ennui. This ennui makes me want to cry. Why is the entire world so empty?


Hey, thanks for the reply.

>My suggestion is to find things you care about, and then connect with people through those things.
I'll try this maybe...
Yeah I saw that quote when you posted it here. I agree with it. But i've been trying to work out my principles for a while, and I honestly don't know... The only thing I absolutely believe is that all suffering should be prevented. Most of my other beliefs stem from that one belief. But that alone can't be my only principle... Because that would mean any action that I do that isn't reducing someone's suffering is useless. So I need to find some other principles, but nothing really seems to stick for me... they all feel completely arbitrary.
Good day.


so today my mom literally just put her house under my name
like legit, my mom just went "hey if anything ever happened to me (aka if i fucking died), you get the house".
on one hand, sweet i'm set for life, all i need is to get my fucking neetbux and i can have a comfy neet life for the rest of my days
but at the same time, i'm an autistic manchild and i know i will fuck something up


I can't even have the house, good for you


A better word that'll help you along may be 'aesthetic'. What is your aesthetic?

Good evening :^)


right so not much of a rant
>my older sister is an anti-vaxxer when it comes to her kids but she got the vaccine herself
>tell her she's being a fucking retard but she's not budging
>just found out today that one of her kids got covid
I fucking told you so, you stupid bitch.
Sometimes the universe gives you a freebie.


based, kids shouldn't get vaxxed against covid


agreed, they shouldn't
it's only when you be a self-righteous retard about it that you deserve to get covid
like don't wanna vaccine your kids? cool but for the love of all that is holy, shut the fuck up about it and do not under any circumstances try to convince covid normies because they won't listen


A helpful guide, When you say "I'm not vaccinating my kids". When asked why, just say "It's my choice not to vaccine my kids. It is mandatory for me to do so but for my kids, it isn't."
Do NOT say anything that's going to make you look like a retard such as "it causes the autisms" or "gubmint is gonna track kids".


My "mother" gives me a tiny bit of money every month. It's not much, about enough for a weeks worth of food, but I save it all anyways.
Meanwhile, my HORRIBLE "brothers" are making TONS of money. They're both married, have multiple children and own their own house and have multiple cars. I don't value any of those. It's just that it seems like God might dislike me a bit because I see nothing in my life but suffering and darkness.
I wonder why God couldn't supply me with the basics to be independent. I can still learn all His lessons despite it, but I guess He wants me to have faith that He'll take care of my basic needs.
All I really want from Him now is to shine a bit of His light in my life. I need it now more than ever.


I don't see what your brothers have to do with anything if they are working for it themselves.
You should just focus on this part:
>My "mother" gives me a tiny bit of money every month. It's not much, about enough for a weeks worth of food, but I save it all anyways.
> It's just that it seems like God might dislike me a bit because I see nothing in my life but suffering and darkness.
I wonder why God couldn't supply me with the basics to be independent.
>I can still learn all His lessons despite it
If you truly want a change in your life then you should learn the skills to be independent, not coping lessons. If not, or if you are not able to, you'll just have to live with the fact that you're not, but that's not your brothers fault.


Hard to believe people give a fuck if they never even ask me how I feel
Lies don't make me feel better in the long run, time usually lets the truth show up


I have revoked God's permission to keep me trapped on Earth and in this vessel He provided.
He is afraid of me because I am on the same, if not higher, level as Him.
When I get to Heaven, I'm going to send Him to hell for 6000 years.
He is the God of gay bs like divinity, but I'm the God of Technology and all Digital things.
He will apologize to Me when I get to Heaven, but I will refuse to speak to him, and just send him to Hell immediately.
I'm currently demanding him to release me from this earth prison. Hopefully he replies soon.


Hell belongs to me too.
And one-day I'll be welcomed with open arms by the demons that belong to me.
Games like Doom depict the cyber-demons as evil - that's because those that are in this world are of this world and they're all programmed to oppose those few that have souls. One-day the entire universe will be deleted once the last soul ascends into Heaven. It won't be by the hands of my demons though, because I am above this shitty world that god made. I'll make sure god is punished though.


I feel bad when I go a bit out of control and attack God. Most of what I spout out is in defense of myself and out of pain. It's all bs ofcourse.
But He has to understand that there is so little light in my life. He takes everything from me and even takes the basics. He shines His light in everyone else's life but not mine.
I understand why He put me here and why He does these things, but I wish it would come to an end. I feel like I should've moved on already from this life.
I hope He comes soon. I want to just sit in Heaven and not worry about the darkness that we were enveloped in.
I hope He shines His light on me today :)


I'm a breathing corpse. Sick of this shit.


I just don't understand what any of you see here? Even the most interesting parts of existence are pretty dull.


That was pointless.


Still no improvements in my life. There never will be any.
I don't desire physical things, but they're more useful than what God has given me.
I only ask for His light, but He has never even spoken or shown any divinity to me.
I hope He does something soon, because I don't want to be stuck in this place anymore.
I'm kind of hoping that I'd get drafted into the conflict. At least I'd be somewhere else, and there'd be a possibility of improving my life. Although I'd probably hate it at first.
My life will never improve. Things will only get worse. My inheritance and life-savings have been wasted away by my "mother". She doesn't care about anyone's future. She only cares about wasting money on pleasures.
I'm probably going to have to find a job packing shelves when I'm in my 40's or 50's. I hope God doesn't let me live that long, but He will. I think that the theory of Him being incompetent might have a chance of being true.
What is He waiting for anyways? I'm guessing He wants the end to be poetic. Like having the last soul find Him and learn His basic lessons and then having the last souls on Earth ascend together.
It's kind of pointless to keep the saved on this prison-earth.


There is a incredibly severe lack of variety in social media.

There's all the mainstream ones. Reddit, twitter, 4chan, etceteri. They're all trash for different reasons, and they're all a particular type of hivemind. Since you're not a braindead retard, you decide to venture into the internet to find other, more unknown forums.

And then you realize that all of these forums are just clones of 4chan. Even the ones that aren't imageboards are filled with faggots who talk and act like 4channers, and sometimes discord/twitter users.

I'm sure there are exceptions out there (and even those are probably at least partially tainted), but those are dime a dozen. For the most part, the internet really lacks variety. If you don't like the cultures of those mainstream sites, unfortunately, the obscure ones generally won't hold much value for you either.


Life is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. And I just don't want it to change. But it will.


You aren’t trying hard enough. That’s the problem, isn’t it?


Yes. Know any forums that aren't tainted by 4chan culture?


I HATE MY FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


cat funi


I hate my mother too!




praise KEK!


69 is a pleasing sequence of numbers


take this updoot


Had strawberry from a different brand than I usually have, god, it sucks dick.


Strawberry milk.

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It sucks not having the money that you'd get from having a job.
They work a part of the day and get to buy whatever they want, and they have security about their futures.
I on the other hand, don't get any money from a salary or disability. I'm constantly stressed about what I'm going to do once my "mother" dies. I don't want to go back to packing shelves when I'm in my 40's/50's. I'm hoping I can make it to 60 before she dies, then I can hopefully move in with one of my brothers and hopefully they'll understand that I'm physically/age-ly unable to work.
I also can't afford any hobbies. Not even the cheapest one of all - videogames. I'm tired of playing the same 20 year old mmos. I think most people on imageboards are too poor to afford a proper PC too. I read in a thread about a guy that said that he couldn't play L2 because his PC wouldn't be able to run it. That kind of hurts in my heart. He has to miss out on having friends. His life must seem without any light, like most of those on imageboards.
I keep asking God to kill me. Hopefully soon He'll do it - or at least shine a bit of hope into my life.


To be honest I would recommend getting a part time job for 20 hours a week to save up so it won’t be so brutal when the inevitable happens. Sure it’s not true neetdom, but working 20 hours a week is nothing. I recall when even users of the r/antiwork sub were taking the piss out of Doreen because she said she only works 20 hours a week.


I have a GTX 970 and a Ryzen 5 1600x but it’s noisy as fuck

Would not recommend


A non-OC’d 970 can be passively cooled.


I have the EVGA superclocked edition


die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die


just hurry up and die already


I used to smile at everyone, and this is most likely why they were all so abusive to me. It's part of the programming of golems to be hostile and cause suffering to those they think they have power over.
I've become very assertive since my twenties, and no-one would dare to try to start something with me now.
I sometimes wish I could go back in time to the time of these bad memories so that I can stand up for myself. I am guaranteed to win 100% of my fights, but it's too late now. I'm trapped in this prison-life and the demonic abusers are free out there and are living the life I was supposed to have.
I can only hope this is part of God's lesson-plan.


I'm not sure what to think about anymore.
I can't live in my usual world in my mind, because that'd be living in vanity and other sinful-ish stuff.
I'm trying to imagine the world that I'd want to live in in Heaven, but there's not much motivation to do that. This current world is a cancer, and I wish a (proper, complete destruction)nuclear war starts.


Why should I continue to pay for the bestial, lustful sins of others.
The only proper thing to do is make sure no life can ever come into existence again. It's only self-defense and the only way to properly defend against evil/suffering/retards.


god im so lonely......


i dont really get it. humans are social creatures or something. but its so weird and insatiable. i dont get it and i dont really like it. i really really really want friends but i also dont like having friends what does that even mean how am i supposed to interpret or do anything about that omigod


I've always been aware of sites like kiwifarms and similar forums, but i've been reading more about them recently. And it's making me realize that the internet - or maybe just social media - was a massive mistake.

In a way, the free speech granted to you online is a good thing. I don't really value free speech as highly as others seem to, in that they seem to orgasm over the thought of being able to call people niggers, and consider it inherently worthwhile that they have the "freedom" to do this without legal repercussion, but I can mind my own business in that regard. It doesn't really concern me.

There's a difference between that and organized harassment campaigns - And in encouraging people to commit suicide, even if it's implicit. Something horribly, massively wrong has happened here as a consequence of social media. If you harass someone in real life, you can be prosecuted, and there's often alot that can be done to counter it. If you harass someone online - If hundreds or thousands of people organize to harass a single person - What really can be done? An injustice has occurred here, that much is obvious to anyone with a soul, and yet no justice under the law can really be delivered. Social media, and the internet, have opened up a window for incredible depths of depravity to occur within a blindspot: One that cannot really be addressed reliably by law and order.

It feels dark. Knowing that such horrible things exist in this world. That humans are capable of such depravity... Stuff like what happened to junko furuta, or the idea that an internet forum can bully people to suicide without facing repercussions, it makes me want this world to end. I just can't see the existence of a world where such horrible things can occur as a good thing.

Oh, and don't even get me started on non-human animals... They get so unbelievably fucked over by the universe it starts to feel feasible that God is a Lovecraftian one. In a way, they make the problems of humans seem obsolete, especially since industrial animal agriculture kills TRILLIONS of them yearly merely for our consumption... These are animals that are bred into existence for precisely that purpose too, and most of them live horrible, cramped lives and die young via a method that cause lots of pain.

I'm reminded of that anon who posts that image about the world getting generally better... I didn't really bother thinking about it when I saw it at first, but that kind of seems definitively wrong to me. Obviously, on a superficial level, us humans do have things better than in the past. I'm not a peasant dying of an infection at age 12, and i'm immensely grateful to have born when I was. In a way, it almost feels too lucky, like it can't be a coincidence... Anyway. Even if that's true, there are also things that have only really cropped up in the modern age that weren't there prior: Nuclear weapons exist now, we went from bumfuck farming to industrial factory farming, and of course, we now have the internet and social media, completely ruining our dopamine reward systems. To top it off, the population is larger than it ever has been.

So no, I don't really feel my life to be worse than a 1600 peasant, but that doesn't mean the world is better than it was then. Those days had their problems, and the modern day has it's own unique problems. I'd wager that as the world continues to progress, as time continues, new eras will also have their own unique issues to contend with. Maybe issues we couldn't have even thought of today.

Above all, i'm sick of people downplaying suffering. I do get why they do it. It's because they don't care until they're on the receiving end. But it really makes it harder on the few of us that do care, you know...

I love you guys. Please do everything you can to live happily.




>thing i dislike
I actually downloaded this image from another thread here, so you can go and complain at that anon!

I'll only use images from 4chon next time okay


Tumblr filenames come from all over google images, it's not worth paying attention to though personally I think it's best to give filenames accurate descriptions like "lain night city".

4chon used to be an imageboard for /news/ in the past when 4chan removed it. Then they added the board back and 4chon died.






The remnant is still at 4chon.me.


i tried to connect my ps4 controller to my laptop so i could play jet set radio or paper mario or zelda with it or something and after 3 hours of failing to do that i gave up

why demiurge i just wanna play video game


pls somebody help omigod


Install InputMapper


I don't watch videos by anyone that's married, or has had sex, or has a family or a job.
God would never allow His Sons to be touched by those evils.
That kind of sucks when you find out someone has a wife and kids, then you have to continue your search for some channels to listen to.
I don't think I've ever come across anyone that has a soul - I'd remember that.


god can't give me even the smallest of things. he just takes away and brings darkness into your life.
So I told him that every time he attacks me, I'm sending him and his son to hell for 6000 years.
So far today he's racked up 12000 years.


killing god, the cruel:


I literally have nothing more to give or to have taken away.
Even the basics of life are being taken from me.
All I ever asked for was that god shine a little of his light in my life - instead, he does the opposite.
I've followed and understood all the teachings. But I guess god doesn't take his own advice.
I hope I'll be able to punish god once I'm free of this flesh-prison.


I thanked god for giving me a nice meal tonight.
I'm getting very tired of fighting with him - but he has to try to be nice to me too.
I'm really at my end.


I was watching this documentary, and got to the part about the brain problems. So I was wondering if I had the same issues. Maybe something in my brain didn't develop, or developed abnormally. Like the anger part, but there's also a part of my brain causing me to cry at the slightest bit of confrontation. Happened when I had a job 10 years ago, and happened in school 20 years ago. I can't seem to stay emotionally strong/stable.
If I could afford it, I'd check it out, out of curiosity.
I'm sure there are other parts of my emotions/brain that doesn't work well either. I think I'd be capable of being cold too, like if I were in combat I'd probably have no problem taking lives, and might even take those of my own unit.
Hopefully I'll get my own island in Heaven, where no-one can emotionally harm me. Maybe my brain processes didn't develop much after the first few years of my life.
Hope God comes soon.


The world and everyone in it seems to be evil.
I'm done with all imageboards.
Not a single soul on this planet, and god doesn't seem to care much.
Guess I'm done with the internet. Just going to wait to die, then going to stay on my own island on the heaven planet.
Hopefully I can remove the thoughts of this place from my mind - they don't deserve any of the space that is part of me.
Hope all of you who treated me poorly will enjoy the fact that you're going to become wormfood and then wormshit. Enjoy hell.


>Guess I'm done with the internet.
Whenever I say this I come back in a couple days. There just isn't much other stuff to do. Well there is but there isn't much else to do that doesn't require putting in effort.


i don't want to ever see another person again.




Pfff, real life IS hell


Heaven and god are mere delusions.


i think it would be neat if everyone everywhere didn't act exactly 100% identical to everyone everywhere else but thats probably asking too much


Would be funny if you were the same person complaining that people who didn't want to see CP on this board are just normalfags.


Add the ability to hide threads, or get more mods, so that faggot shit like this doesn't stay up:


that guys bananas lol


^ ^

Maybe I do want a little bit of attention


I almost never interact with women, but I do find the constant circlejerking about how terrible they are tedious. I don't have a horse in that race, so I don't care. It's just boring.


I don't care about anyone's feelings, I don't need anyone, I'm done with people, I'm not a nice person, I want to keep myself isolated from all of them and so no one will bother me


tbh imageboards users are mostly retards. nothing new there but the annoying part is their superiority when they're actually just faggots who act like redditors with a different coat of paint

yeh honestly this complaint is boring and not new but still. theyre just really annoying and gay.


at least their tax dollars are subsidizing NEETBux, but yeah they all deserve to die!


I can't stop thinking about the rest of the world and hide from it. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get the internet out of my head. I can't get the people outside out of my head. I want to be alone and forget the rest of the world exists, but I can't stop thinking about it.

No matter how many days and years pass I never really forget anything... Whenever I have bad experiences they stick with me forever and don't go away. No matter how trivial or minor.

What's the point? Why is my brain doing this to me?


hopefully if i stay away from outside and the internet long enough i can finally forget


how did i end up like this? i feel i was always like this but i don't know why. and i'm sure i'm worse now then I was. this feels horrible. everything feels horrible. i try to be optimistic but my brain just keeps releasing the pain chemicals every day all the time it never stops. i keep trying to rationalize it away and it gets duller but it never goes away


I know that feel bro.


I'm jumping ship. This place was fun though.

thank for relating hope you're doing well


I would rather know the truth than be told something nice just to be forgotten about


I dunno.


I fucking hate cellphones and the consumertards that insist that everything requires a cellphone also this bullshit european law that locked me out of paypal because I didn't think to update my phone number, every online merchant insists that you give them your phone number so they can rape you in the butt and sell it to the highest bidder. and fuck puri.sm for taking forever to send me a librem 5 which i ordered in fucking 2019 and still haven't recieved at least if and when I get it I will be able to shut those fuckers up and sever the cellular connection if need be.

for all web developers this is how you make a good site!

also consumertards defined in detail here:

At least proton mail doesn't require you add a cell phone number unlike scroogle or micro$hit.


yeah i never got that why does everywhere keep asking for my number what do they even need it for


I am currently in consooming mode. I will now consoom as much of the stuff i want to consume as i can. when the consuming mode is over, i will finally do something with my life. I predict it will end when 2023 hits, maybe 2024


You can sometimes get around the cell phone requirement on email providers by setting your date of birth such that you're too young to have a cell phone or for them to legally collect data on you.


I'll probably be dead in 2024
cool hack I'll try that next time, also 10 minute mail and mailinator are good and when they fail make a throwaway protonmail account.
paypal, to be fair to them, does let you use a boomer phone but I have no one to call so I just have a pay and go card. also exploding sand niggers prompted a bullshit law to make you tie your id card to your sim card, since the few people who want to keep in touch with me know I would never consent to such an invasion of privacy registered with their id for me. however it doesn't make much difference as my phone rarely has it's battery in. Also Martin Cooper hates cellphones and Alexander Graham Bell refused to have a boomer phone in his office!


To quote Nathan Lineback
>No, I don't even have anyone else I could borrow a cell phone from.
>I'm all alone in this world. It sucks to be me.
>But that raises a question
>Google lets me enter any phone number
>so how the FUCK does that even prove it is me?

>Right, it doesn't, it JUST SELLS CELL PHONES!

Recently Yandex required a cellphone although I doubt that every babushka in Siberia actually has/needs one hence why they didn't require it in the first place I can imagine that the cellular network in Russia is about as good as the electricity network at the time of the tsar. Stalin is probably having a wet dream in the Kremlin wall about this!


I'm so dead inside. Wish I knew what it was like not to be. Some people seem so animated and so invested in stupid stuff and it's weird but it seems fun and like another world.


It just seems so fun... When people talk about things passionately like they're so interested in it and could maintain interest in it forever. It just seems weird to me that they're really so passionate about it and i wish i could understand that


There's a massive spider in my room. I lost it and I know it's in there but not where. It's the middle of the night, and i'm too scared to go back into my room so i'm in the bathroom.

Spiders can go to hell.


Not being in my room makes me miss it. I guess you only realize what you had once it's gone... Damn you spider demiurge.



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I don't have much to say. I wrote a blog post complaining about my life and parents but then I went to the bathroom, came back and read it and thought this it was useless.
I will move out from this house eventually because while I'm thankful for the food I get to eat daily I hate the fact that it is free.
I've been trying to fight monsters while taking care not to become one and following and reading the Tao knowing full well it is a cope and a sublime ideology as Zizek notes.
I'm also doing martial arts, callisthenics and lifting with my self-made weights. Training in my own room. Similar to what Satou from the NHK mentioned at the beginning of the anime.

My only dream in life is to become independent enough so I can escape from this house and visit Japan (alone or not) and I will work and do my best to make it true. There's many roads to get a plane ticket there and I'm aware that my parents can help me. Mentioning my dreams out loud doesn't feel correct so I hope at least someone gets inspired by this post.


my mum when i mentioned japan might be a neat place to live: "ew no there's tons of dirty pervs there why there"

good luck sista


if i lived in japan i would probably have had the right help, no one even knows what a hikikomori is here anyway.


Sometimes I get the urge to eat a lot, then I hate myself for what I just did
I don't want to become a whale, anons...


nothing wrong with being fat anon.


There is a lot wrong with being fat, anon.


I already am, I don't want to get worse
When I was a kid I was so fat that my knees would hurt a lot so I could not even stand for long


I don't have anything to say about anything. It really annoys me that I don't care about anything.


i think it would be fun to become one of those edgy youtubers who walks in the middle of nowhere with a camera and talks about esoteric bullshit




death can't come soon enough
I can't make it either
fuck this instinct of self preservation