If I can entertain myself I can go years without talking to a single person but I get bored and do desire a friend so I try to make a friend online.
The more I get to know someone the more I find talking to them draining and just knowing they expect me to talk to them gives me stress.
If I have no one I talk to I can sleep whenever I want or not even go on my pc for days at a time without knowing I am tied down by a relationship and that feels nice.
I meet people and they will think I am really kino and want to talk to me a lot but I can never hang around so I simply vanish.
Do you do this anon?
This anon just feels so done with talking with people again so is deciding they will wait a day and if they do not feel different will ghost the only person they talk to.
I am borderline not that it should matter (#^-^#)
That sounds really selfish of you but then again in my experience I have to make the effort for online friendships otherwise they'll just ghost me. I guess it's just a matter of who goes quiet first with basic manners being the only thing keeping people responding.
I do, I find myself getting along better with strangers in general. The closer I get to someone the further I tend to drift away from the relationship. I suppose I have commitment issues.
for me, it's kinda like a bell curve, in the very beginning ill respond quickly and interact, everything is novel.
at the peak of the curve, things start getting dry, if they don't bring up a subject I'm enthusiastic about, or they're not entertaining in some way, shape, or form, ill just start responding to them every 3 days or so.
if it's a notification on discord where it's red and popping out, ill open it to remove the annoyance, and maybe ill respond to them.
it looks like you already know how your bpd acts. like you're aware of it. so maybe you should try to stay alone, and not involve with anyone if you already know that you are going to ghost them. you don't want to hurt other people. maybe you will feel lonely and all. it will hurt but at least you're reducing the damage i guess.
I ghost everyone
this, people are genuine issues and i don't get how people (women, especially) depend on others. call me a contrarian or something but everyone, literally everyone, in my life has been a detriment to me in some way.
Only once, a whole month, no one cared, I'm not sure if that even counts
I'm just boring so no one is missing out on anything
I feel as if I am suffocating in a box when I talk to people in the end and have to take time to myself.
Strangers are the best.
Making a friend seems to function in a different way for me as I just love to get to know people but just like reading a book you get bored eventually I guess and find it stressful to force yourself to reread it over and over again so stop reading?
Yes I am BPD and I have done DBT.
I actually tell these people at the start that I will ghost them and ask them if they wish to continue.
Funny thing is that for the people who I have ignored my urges to ghost I have found they only seek to harm me anyway.
I met one anon and tried so hard with him talking every day to keep him company and fought against my urges only to get attacked and ghosted myself which was a relief.
Is there anything wrong with being upfront that I will just move on? I am not made for relationships and now that my books have arrived I have better things to do than talk to people who really just want my attention because they feel lonely.
Who is the selfish one really? I give my time to people and enjoy their perspective and move on as I say I will in the start.
These people often just want to talk with me because they do not have any friends and I always encourage them to meet better people as I am a limited time deal.
Given that I tell everyone
>hi anon if you want to be my friend you need to be aware I will vanish... is that ok with you?
Am I really selfish? I have seen people online I have been friends with looking for me around the internet after I have moved on so maybe it is unfair to even talk to people.
I feel suffocated when I talk with people and want to ghost them so it is hardly fair on me!
I don't even think it has to do with being borderline. Most people who are borderline ghost people after idoliizng someone and quickly moving onto another person.
I meet someone and talk with them slowly learning about them and lose interest in nearly every case.
Day 2 of no contact with only person I talk with.
I feel I should tell them I will likely ghost them (they already know as I told them at the start).
I feel much better not talking to them and it is not that I dislike them I just do more entertaining things like reading instead.
Yep, I'm not maintaining relationships with anyone right now over the internet and the times I do don't last very long. I feel "safer" in isolation. I think a big part of it is the freedom I have to do what I want when I want which I feel as though I wouldn't have if I was locked in relationships with people.
I'm kind of eccentric for most people and in the past I've dealt with being cast out of groups for different reasons, so it is a fear of mine whenever I find people to talk to. I'm usually very anxious about not sending people off by saying "wrong" things, so I've previously curated myself. Not anymore though.
A lot of freedom when you are totally isolated! decided it was best to ghost the person I was talking to.
You can just read books instead of talking to people.
Hope you can find some friends if you ever want them but I guess some people are just not meant to have any friends.
its funny because it its probably the reason you cant form meaningful connections with others
yes, since i distance myself as far as possible as i can from them, and they still force their way into my life. if they can't deal with me existing then they should just fuck off
has everyone become shit to talk to or is it just me?
I cannot even talk to people anymore or it is intensely suffocating.
I cannot stand talking to another person.
I had always been like this but could just casual talk with people when really bored and had nothing to do sometimes but cannot even do that now.
what even is this? I feel it in my gut this horrible feeling that won't go away
I felt like this when I would browse 4/g/ and 4/a/ ages ago. Running Gentoo, going for walks while I waited for my browser or desktop environment to recompile. I hated being around other people.
idk man, people are cool in theory but in practice they bore me and are predictable.
I am actually getting a lot of help and none of it helps.
Relate to this.
I can tolerate here and maybe I could even try have proper conversations in threads here if they were to happen but on chan it is all too fast and so much pressure.
Does it get better? I used to be able to stand being social, now however. Even social workers that come try help me end up triggering this panic feeling
you come on here calling people losers or saying normalfag shit obviously to get a (you)
you are saying being a NEET is a waste of time? I did not know that I had to earn money to be allowed to enjoy everything else in life.
I've temporarily ghosted many dear friends. In the majority of times, it wasn't out of malice but rather anxiety to message the person after a long time.
I can't stop ghosting people. I'll talk to people once in a while when I'm bored for about a day or two and then ghost them forever. I don't know why I am like this, but the idea of closeness gives me anxiety.
initially yea, but after a while being stuck alone with your own thoughts is draining, if those thoughts are mostly negative that is.
i ghosted everyone i knew and then regretted it 6 months later
I ghost people when they do/say something wrong or they irritate me. I don't regret it because if they were good people they wouldn't annoy me.
I don't really consider myself to be a good friend, whenever I did have friends it was draining and irritating to be with them, and because of that it lead to a lot of bad experiences and they almost always don't last very long.
In my opinion, being with people has almost always lead me to bad experiences weather it'd be getting my face plastered onto gay porn because of drama I had with this one person, being peer pressured into doing humilating stuff, being betrayed and thrown under the bus, having to listen to close minded alt-right /pol/ members on a -insert favorite character discord server- talking about how much they hate black people and that illegals at border crossings should be shot or just having a random paranoid stranger approach me thinking I was a criminal because I looked in his direction or something, etc.
People are just so tiring and troublesome to be with in general, I have to keep reminding myself of why I keep ghosting other people and wanting to be left alone because of my human instincts barking at me like a small dog.
One of the ways I've been able to at least fulfill my need to socialize is imageboards like these, some days It's fulfilled, other days not so much.
Due to the nature of imageboards, being anonymous makes it easy to fulfill my social needs without having to worry about attracting attention to myself
Other then that, I like being isolated because I have a lot of freedom towards how I spend my time, what time I go to bed, how I act, all without have to be tied down by the bullshit that comes with having friends.
Well, if I have a shallow relationship with them, i'll do that. If they're actually a friend, i'll tell them I don't wanna talk anymore because i'm a bitch baby.
I made someone very sad by doing this once. Which is a weird feeling, because i'm not used to others actually caring about whether I talk to them or not. It might be better if people like us just isolate ourselves. For the most part, I do.
I ghosted the few people I knew more than half a decade ago and now I don't even have people to ghost. I've been thinking of making some casual acquaintances again, even though I don't expect to stick with it long term. So where do you even find people to ghost?
>because i'm not used to others actually caring about whether I talk to them or not. It might be better if people like us just isolate ourselves. For the most part, I do.
I feel the same way, from what I've observed people derive their entertainment and worth from others and feel uncomfortable not being part of a group even if they aren't teenagers. if I were to make friends again I'd have to maintain the mutual unconscious exchange that comes with it and it's exhausting.
I concluded that friendship in general is very fragile and shallow and friends are only good for mindless fun and having connections to not feel lonely. Not something to be sad about honestly, it is what it is but I feel like switching from being alone to having friends and maintaining relationships takes work especially for us that have been alone for so long, some of us develop anti-social feelings and bias that causes us to view everyone as assholes.
This advice is mostly for myself but I'd recommend having some people in your life to not feel lonely at least. Even if it's your family. That feeling varies from person to person.
can't relate, you probably mean discord and IRL at ur highschool
BPD people have trouble forming persistent attachments, beliefs and values, they are like leaves on the wind. It's best not to avoid depending on them, as they are just incapable of building up to a valuable relationship.
This ghosting thing made me feel awful, I can't just change my mind now since they'll think I'm crazy
This same thing has happened before, twice, once a year, the same outcome both times
It'll be better for me not to get back to them, it had been long since we had an actual conversation so they probably don't care that much, and I'm just confused overthinking everything
I was feeling lonely before too so there won't be much of a difference now
I really hope I can stick to my decision, I don't want to go through this a third time, it's just my fault probably, the internet is the only way I used to feel comfortable talking to others, now I can't have that either
What should I do
It's weird. The loneliness to me is just sorta background noise that's imbedded in me. Making friends doesn't alleviate it. Talking to people doesn't lessen it. To the point where I have a hard time believing anyone could "not" feel lonely, since I can't comprehend what the alternative feels like.
Making new ones is almost impossible
The people I knew aren't what I'd call friends, we barely spoke anymore, I'm not comfortable with them I think, they are mostly normal
I talk to someone at the moment myself but will ghost them. if you can make friends why not keep trying? if you barely talk they are not a friend.
I know but I was desperate, I kind of liked deluding myself that I had someone caring about me
I have tried for 3 years to find people so I'm a little tired
Everyone I've ever met is the exact same. They'll only act nice to someone if they can gain something from them. There is no genuine connections on Earth anymore. Maybe once we reach Heaven, then we can all be with each other and have true connections. People on Earth only want pleasures, so if you can't entertain them, then they see no reason to be around you. 99% of people are just flesh golems following their garbage pleasure programming. Hopefully God comes back soon.
"Anymore" Was there ever? Humans are inherently selfish. True human connections can't exist, no matter the context. I guess the closest you could get would be accepting that a mutually selfish connection isn't necessarily bad.
I have given up on talking to people myself pretty much. you could drop your tag and maybe this anon or another will try talk
This idea of true connection or genuine or whatever doesn't sound all that interesting.
In my world, I don't see it working any other way.
if you don't have some purpose to serve each other then you're just resuscitating like amoebas. boring
True emotion, true "blah" what a bunch of bollocks
I have gone on rants about how much I hate the cord
I only need it to follow some projects, I have one contact but I think I'll ghost him after one month of nothing I suppose, I don't know if that's enough time but whatever
Its happening to me. Its pretty fucked up, I stopped going to one of the virtual places I liked the most because of that.