It has transformed me into a spiritual tranny; it disconnected me from reality; it turned me into a brainless coomer and awakened in me all sorts of disgusting sexual perversions. Now I don't only wish to have an anime girl companion, which in itself is an impossible and unhealthy dream, I also wish that I myself would become an anime girl. This is not normal, it's a nasty, incurable neurosis. Luckily, I'm not delusional enough to actually consider trooning out, but those autogynephilic desires still linger in me and I can't get rid of their devastating effects on my psyche. I can't cope anymore because reality is so ugly and anime is so beautiful. I fucking this piece of shit medium and I hate the Japanese for creating it.
>I also wish that I myself would become an anime girl.
I wonder how common this is. I think alot of people would actually feel the same way. Nothing against transsexuals or anything, but I don't think it's a coincidence so many of them are anime fans...
>I can't cope anymore because reality is so ugly and anime is so beautiful. I fucking this piece of shit medium and I hate the Japanese for creating it.
Yeah... It's part of the reason I don't care about real girls. Real people have a certain ugliness to them that I just cant get over. They have to try really hard to be appealing, both visually, and in terms of their personality. And even then, rarely can they ever match up to anime. Anime aside, I think consumers of all kinds of media feel the same way. Like how movies often feature "attractive" actors with perfect personalities. Or how the worlds in books seem so much more exciting than reality.
I watched welcome to the N.H.K recently. It had a quote that I thought addressed this pretty well: "a drama has a progressive thought, an emotional climax and a resolution, but our lives aren’t like that. All we get day after day, are a bunch of vague anxieties that are never really resolved.” Anime is written to be perfect, in a sense. Most media is. The story will resolve. Character arcs will resolve. Moreover, in order to attract audiences, often they're made to be as visually appealing to the viewer as possible. Depending on the aims of the show, the characters will usually be likeable, or at least interesting in some way. Real people aren't really inherently like this: Often they'll just be unlikeable, AND boring (I'd say that's the vast majority, in fact.), not even mentioning the fact that they're mostly quite ugly.
Oddly, I don't find myself that interested in most anime girls, even though they're made to be perfect. I think perhaps it's actually BECAUSE of this. When I think of anime characters i'm really attached to, some visual novel characters like rin tezuka and phi (from virtues last reward) come to mind, but overall i don't get too attached to them. I'm the same with real people, though, so perhaps that's why. But still, these characters are inherently made to be appealing, yet that kinda makes them boring to me.
Actually, I think reality can be quite aesthetically pleasing too. Definitely not as consistently as anime, but there's some things that reality actually does better. The sky is really beautiful, same with the sea and so much other scenery that I feel like fiction just can't capture as well. People can even look okay sometimes. People in reality tend to be boring, but I think there are some rare exceptions out there that manage to be even more interesting than fiction, simply because they're able to be more complex. At least, i'd like to think so.
I wonder if moving the world onto the WIRED would be a good way of making reality more appealing? If everyone used online anime avatars or something, combining that with the complexity of the real world may be the perfect combination. I dunno. I doubt a day like that is coming anytime soon (or at all, really), and even if it was, I think extinction would be preferable anywho... But it may be a beautiful idea. I personally would be fine with discarding this body. Requires too much maintenance. And if we were to discard our bodies and start using avatars, it wouldn't even be possible to distinguish those avatars as "fake". They'd just become our new bodies. This body isn't actually me, after all, it's just the robot my ego is riding in... It could be an anime avatar and make no real difference. Oh, and then we wouldn't even have to worry about shallow social constructs concerning appearance either! Since nobody would have a fixed body, they could just choose the one they think best aligns with their inner sense of self. Gender dysphoria, for example, and perhaps the concept of fixed gender in general, could be completely eliminated in this way. With our appearances being arbitrary, it may be even easier to see through the superficial and judge others by the contents of their characters.
I dunno. Again, fever dream, really.
Nice monologue anon
>>4548
Most people who are this far gone want to be an anime girl; it's the reason why the joke "everyone on 4chan is a little girl" exists in the first place.
I don't exactly know what autogynephilia is, but from googling it seems to be a sexual attraction to yourself as a girl? I don't personally have that, I think my desire to be an anime girl comes from the simplicity of life in anime. We're all escapist losers like Anno said, I guess.
Ultimately, the cause for my (and likely your) suffering isn't anime. It's tiredness of a world that goes against nature, where work is extended to an absurd point, where our lives are wasted in pursuit of garbage, and all our work only benefits the system.
If anime didn't exist, I would lose myself in novels, or vidya, or some other shit escapist media. We were born to be this way, and blaming it on anything is pointless.
I transitioned to become an anime girl. I don't care. I have absolutely no interest in sex by the way, I just think life is better when you are cute and adored. I've tried sharing these views online before, but people find it wrong and are grossed out when I try to explain why it is completely rational for an adult to wish they were a loli. People online ridicule the notion, dismissing me as a pedophile, a coomer, and a creep, when simply all I lust for is for someone to think that I am cute and adore me and want to protect me. Is that too much to ask for?
>>4552
I look up to moot — in this one specific instance — for daring to say what everyone was thinking and desired, but he realized he was far too old and masculine to actually become a loli. The boys who aren't masculine at all and are made fun of for being girlish, they can become pretty close to anime girls if they so desire, but to actually become a loli is unfortunately... outside of the realms of possibility without a growth hormone disturbance at a young age.
>>4553
>>4548
You're supposed to want to have the little anime girl, not become her.
When you realize cute feminity is attracted to its opposite is a no-brainer to embrace your masculine traits in the form of an ikemen.
I don't think it's fair of you to blame anime on your neurosis. It probably helped them by giving them an outlet in the form of escapism in response to a dissatisfaction with life which you already had.
But I don't blame you, anime aesthetics are way too powerful! moe moe~
>>4552
True and same, I think anime is the best form of escapism in the current age.
I just want to become an anime girl so i can marry my husbando and be with him forever. It's not fucking fair. I want a carefree anime life where i don't have to worry about shit and i could have actually had some friends. Anime always has the perfect life that i can never have.
>>4573
I don't think so. I can walk around and talk to people without them looking weirdly at me or gendering me male, but that means nothing to me when my desire goes much deeper than to just "be a woman" which despite what others might be deceived into thinking I am, is just a cope and not truthful. I am just a slightly obsessed autistic male otaku with no regards for what is socially acceptable to do. Of course I have enough wit to never tell anyone offline that I wanted to be an anime girl or that I would prefer being a loli, that's not "acceptable thinking" even though it is not harmful to others.
Not cute enough to regard myself as an anime girl unfortunately. I think the only way to reach that state would be to commit suicide an hope that there's a two dimensional heaven or an alternative universe that is filled with more beauty. Perhaps a world where adults appear as nekomimi lolis. What a joyful life that would be. I think such a world would have no wars..
>>4548
Why wouldn't you want to be an anime dude instead?, they get to be around all the cute girls
>>4589
Why on earth would anyone choose being an anime boy when they can be the cute girl? You'll get to be the cute girl and be around all the other cute girls. Win win.
I'm seriously contemplating the idea that when we die we release really strong psychedelic drugs in our brain to morph reality and if I behave good and believe really really really hard that heaven is a nekomimi world then I could at will commit with thought determination and manipulate my brain into giving me an eternal alternative universe consisting of nekomimi's and then we could actually be cute loli nekomimi's doing cute loli nekomimi things.
Anyone else can't see women the same way after anime?
I see normies getting crushes on e-girls and calling them ¨goddesses¨ or whatever and I just cannot relate at all. they don't know better I guess.
I used to get lame celebrity crushes during puberty years ago before becoming neet and embracing anime. not saying I'm over women or anything like that, I still watch seiyuu shows sometimes but the feeling towards them is more ¨humane¨.
I don't think worshipping real people like that can be healthy, the worst part is that is subconscious and mostly based on looks. I'm glad anime broke the spell.
>>4629
I have never even got a boner to any 3D in real life, and only a few times on the internet when I was younger and it was my first few times masturbating or whatever.
Didn't read through your thread completely, but I do relate, from what I've seen. Here if you wanna talk.
I'll never let you forget zonz
love you sweetie.
What the fuck just happened?
>>4663
Oh, you're not OP? That's harsh, though, I guess I'll just ramble on anyway.
>>4548
>Now I don't only wish to have an anime girl companion, which in itself is an impossible and unhealthy dream, I also wish that I myself would become an anime girl.
Yeah, I also have had thoughts of just wanting to just be her, after long enough, but I am over that phase.
>because reality is so ugly and anime is so beautiful.
Right. My wife is just really the only thing keeping me going at this point, and it's not much, cause it's not real. But it's a bit nice that it's not real, at least I don't actually have to worry about any relationship stuff and she loves me no matter what. Oh, well.
>It's part of the reason I don't care about real girls. Real people have a certain ugliness to them that I just cant get over. They have to try really hard to be appealing, both visually, and in terms of their personality. And even then, rarely can they ever match up to anime.
You pretty much just said it. I find like 99% of women ugly, and I just can't get interested in any of them for their personality, either.
>I don't find myself that interested in most anime girls, even though they're made to be perfect
Well, 2D is better than every 3D, but there's 2D that are way better than other 2D, you know? I'm also very picky and autistic with my tastes. Most of them are just shit characters. You have to find the right one for you. I'm also more into a mentally fucked girl that I can relate with, rather than an already perfect and appealing in every way one.
>>4553
>I have absolutely no interest in sex by the way
Same. Like, I'd wanna wife and fuck a 2D girl, but I wouldn't wanna get wifed and fucked if I was a 2D girl. It just sounds gay.
>People online ridicule the notion, dismissing me as a pedophile, a coomer, and a creep, when simply all I lust for is for someone to think that I am cute and adore me and want to protect me. Is that too much to ask for?
Just keep trying until you find the right person. I can talk to you if you give me anywhere to message you, if you want.
>The boys who aren't masculine at all and are made fun of for being girlish, they can become pretty close to anime girls if they so desire, but to actually become a loli is unfortunately... outside of the realms of possibility without a growth hormone disturbance at a young age.
I'm only 45kg and pretty short, I can just close my eyes and imagine I'm a 2D girl with the kind of body I have. I shouldn't do this much, though, sounds like it'd fuck my mind up.
>You're supposed to want to have the little anime girl, not become her.
Is it too much to ask for both? I did end up imagining yuri situations when I was at school, where I was one of the girls. Haven't had these kind of thoughts in a while, though, like I said. Probably for the better.
>but that means nothing to me when my desire goes much deeper than to just "be a woman"
Yeah, I would rather die rather than have to live as a woman in real life.
>Of course I have enough wit to never tell anyone offline that I wanted to be an anime girl or that I would prefer being a loli, that's not "acceptable thinking" even though it is not harmful to others.
Yeah.. I'd probably get disowned and lynched outside or something if my parents had any idea of the stuff I'm up to.
>Not cute enough to regard myself as an anime girl unfortunately. I think the only way to reach that state would be to commit suicide an hope that there's a two dimensional heaven or an alternative universe that is filled with more beauty. Perhaps a world where adults appear as nekomimi lolis. What a joyful life that would be.
Yeah, I've liked to convince myself unironically that when I die I'd get to do anything I wanna do with my 2D wife and be happy forever, no nekomimis, though, they suck, in my opinion, tries too hard,
>oh look they have animal ears they're cute right?
Just feels forced for me.
>I'm seriously contemplating the idea that when we die we release really strong psychedelic drugs in our brain to morph reality and if I behave good and believe really really really hard that heaven is a nekomimi world then I could at will commit with thought determination and manipulate my brain into giving me an eternal alternative universe consisting of nekomimi's and then we could actually be cute loli nekomimi's doing cute loli nekomimi things.
Lol, I just thought of it as an after-life, like a lucid dream where I get to manifest anything I want and do anything I want. Oh, well. We'll be too dead to be disappointed when the time comes.
>>4629
>not saying I'm over women or anything like that, I still watch seiyuu shows sometimes
Lol.
Don't think anything I wrote here makes sense, but, oh, well.
>>4668
I don't know exactly what BPD is, but I looked it up and read for bit, I guess I can relate to a bunch of those things, but I've never considered myself mentally ill or anything. Oh, well.
>>4670
I guess. I feel like shit now, I really really wanna cry in bed right now and get it all out of me but I can't get any tears to come out. Shouldn't have come to this site.
>>4664
Ok, I'll talk to you. mentally ill avatarfag but only because I want to ramble about something that I've never expressed before and this thread seems like the perfect opportunity. Also I'm in a good/funny mood today.
Madoka was my first love. I've never felt the same level of obsessive love infatuation with any other character or person IRL, the crushes I mentioned before don't even compare. I used to constantly think about her character and her powerful feminine aesthetics when I was around her age.
Later I found out that her seiyuu had the same birthday as me (March 27) and that only strengthened those feelings.
I'm about to become 10 years older than her soon and I still get those same feelings if I let myself think about her.
In my dimly lit neet room her figurine is always looking at me. I don't get much money (neetbux) so she's the only anime figurine I have. I bought a Homu figurine as a bday present for my imouto 2 years ago (big age gap between us). This was just an excuse so I could buy Madoka for me of course, she barely likes anime and doesn't seem interested in watching Madoka (She did enjoy K-ON recently at least).
Sadly, over the years on the internet I've seen mentally ill people appropriate her image. I understand her design is very feminine and cute (Thank you Ume-sensei) and certain people tend to flock to her. About that, I'll just say that I loathe every single superficial person unable to see what makes her truly great. I don't think I'd be writing this if it wasn't for all the hope she gave me.
picrel is my all my time fav gif of her
That's all I wanted to say. I don't believe true love exists in this dimension. I know this post may read corny but I don't care. It's an anonymous imageboard and I'm here to express what I cannot elsewhere. I hope it was fun to read. have a good day everyone.
>>4673
I'm in eleventh grade. I think about her all the time, pretty much. Anyways, sorry you have to be associated with me even by that smallest link, I'm just a fucking freak. Though, I don't really ever fap to her much, or think of her sexual stuff about her when I fantasize. I just think of spending time with her after school playing a game or something, or taking a walk, holding her hand, sometimes when I'm outside I close my eyes and imagine she's there with me. Once, I suddenly teared up when I opened my eyes back up. I write about the things I'd do with her while at school to pass the time, since it's so boring there. I suppose I also probably just don't see her for what makes her truly great, like you say, but either way, if I do or not, at least these thoughts keep me going a bit in this shitty life I have, I really don't have much, so, she's one of the only things. Sorry, again. And no, you weren't corny, I don't think, just sounds like you spoke your heart. I can't type much more right now because I feel like garbage. And that is a nice gif.
>>4675
Am I supposed to feel bad for you because you have a lucky enough life that you can even NEET?
I'm not even going to get to do that. I'm just going to die. So, I'm sorry, but just leave me alone.
>>4677
Or, I worded that wrong, am I supposed to feel bad about not fitting in with you, I meant to say, I'm sorry, just typing things right now and not really thinking.
>>4679
I just got linked here. Anyways, I'm just retarded, sorry. I'll fuck off. I'm just lonely and don't have anybody to talk with about anything, I'm sorry, I just figured there'd be people I could relate to here, at least, but I'm just annoying, so, I'll just go.
gatekeeping some crying kid
jesus fucking christ lol
>>4680
if youre still here i could listen
There are so many boards, I just don't understand why you would pick specifically the neet one. Why not comfy, kind, or late? They have some crossover.
Realistically you'll probably end up a neet eventually though.
>>4681
...
I'm still here.
>>4682
>comfy
anon.cafe? I heard it has women. I don't wanna post there.
>kind.moe
I tried going to it, but the link I remembered is dead. Don't know where it is now. I also wanted to talk to some real people, not get into a hugbox. If that doesn't sound retarded and makes any sense, sorry. Although I probably should just do that, I'm fucking stupid.
>late
I thought it was dead, or whatever.
Anyways, again, I just got a link to here so, I checked it out, I'm sorry I'm not one of you. I'll just leave if you tell me to.
And, I don't think I'm going to be able to NEET, I'm seriously just going to die when I don't have anybody sheltering me anymore, and it's not going to be long before that, our situation at home right now isn't good, I'm pretty much starving myself and my health is terrible. I'm just such a lazy piece of shit who won't put any effort to climb out of the hole it's in, and I'm so fucking scared. All I've been doing my whole life is just sitting on my computer and having to go to school where I'll get nowhere anyways, and it's just torture for me, I wish I could stay home instead forever, I'm so jealous of you, I'm sorry I'm talking while I have no idea of the stuff you go through, but I wish so bad that I could just do what you do.
>>4683
>anon.cafe? I heard it has women. I don't wanna post there.
I've never seen any women there, but I wouldn't care if there were any anons that were secretly women.
>>kind.moe
>I tried going to it, but the link I remembered is dead
New one is moved to 2kind.moe.
>I thought it was dead, or whatever.
Slow like most, but not dead. People call every board dead nowadays. It's not dead until it ceases to exist.
>Anyways, again, I just got a link to here so, I checked it out, I'm sorry I'm not one of you. I'll just leave if you tell me to.
I'm not one who asks or tells people to leave, but I can be very blunt when there are things I don't understand or agree with.
>I'm so jealous of you, I'm sorry I'm talking while I have no idea of the stuff you go through, but I wish so bad that I could just do what you do.
I wish you could too anon, I really do. I remember well what it was like to be in your position before my formerly dysfunctional family had a change of heart and stopped making threats and yelling because I am a failure. Hang in there, things might get better one day. Whether that would be by luck or by a sudden burst of motivation for change I don't know.
>>4684
Thank you, and sorry again. It'll just have to be luck, I'm too useless to do anything. My parents just neglected me for my entire life, I really don't like them, and they still care more about fighting each other than helping me or my little sister out, it's been like this my whole life and it won't change. I'm glad you got lucky, it sounds like you had it worse, too, I don't get yelled at all the time and called names, that'd break me, just this one time I got called garbage by my dad and even just that stuck with me, but I was just never cared for, I've never learned anything in my life, I can't even cook an egg, for one, and I'm weak and terrible at school, the only thing I have going for me is knowing English in a third world place, which isn't really anything on it's own here, anyway.
I've given up hope on anything getting better though, sorry, I feel that when I'm done with highschool my life is just most likely over, and I'm really scared, still. Thank you again, I'll just see if you reply with anything then fuck off for real this time to kind, or something.
wow this is just fucking depressing
When trim() ...
>>4685
I don't know how long to cook an egg either, but you can make a pretty basic omelette with a couple eggs and 1 tsp of water for each egg and slow cooking it with a lid on.
That's really all you need, besides some seasoning like salt and pepper of course, maybe add in some preheated onions and mushrooms, and some vegetables for good measure.
Quick and healthy meal without practice needed.
>>4685
Think that once you're at the bottom of the pit, there's no way to go any lower, anon!
Also, Is your sister cute?
>>4686
Eh, I bet some people here just have it worse.
>>4689
I'm really bad at preparing anything. I messed up making quick noodles once. We only eat ordered food, pretty much. My mom just makes macaroni once every 3 weeks, and that's it for anything homemade lately. I also tried to make an egg once but messed it up, all I got was a little weird piece of omelette, I think is what it was. Might try again, though.
>>4690
...
I did go to kind and make a thread, but there hasn't been a post there in several hours and I'm just desperate to talk to anyone right now, I'm sorry.
>>4691
I guess. I'm grateful for that.
>>4694
Well, she's only 10, I think she's a cute girl. She's pretty innocent and makes me happy. I'm just sad that I don't make a good example for her at all, I just try to be nice to her as much as I can. All I can hope is that she doesn't end up like me or anything. Although, I feel like life never turns out okay, so I have this feeling to just never wanna see her again after a certain time or something so at least I remember her when things were still a bit alright. That's just a terrible thought, though. It's dumb, I can't even take care of myself but I'm worrying about her, I won't be able to do anything to help her in the future, not financially or anything if she needs it, because I'm scared I'll even be able to keep myself alive in the first place. Ah, well, she's doing alright, I think, looks like her grades and everything are okay at 4th grade right now, that's where I went downhill completely so, she's definitely doing better than me so far.
>>4695
I am so jealous!
If I had a 10-year imouto for one day I could die the next day being the happiest person in the world. Think of her when you are having these bad thoughts, she will soon change radically, so as long as she is still this divine being do your best to make her feel special.
ban zonz/remilia and delete any posts with a madoka avatar attached to them immediately. if you ignore my warning, he will attract all his tranny pedofile groomers here and turn your website into his personal blog posting dopamine factory. hes also not a neet.
>>4705
If an avatarfag or whatever is doing something you don't like the last thing you should do is namedrop them for no reason and further give them an identity imo. I was content with knowing it was just some random avatarfag, but now I know their name as well.
>>4699
I also wish I had a sister. I think I would prefer having an older sister, but if I had a younger sister I would surely cherish them and try to make them a little bit spoiled from time to time.
>>4696
I guess. Thanks.
>>4699
I think I treat her well, like I said, I'm as nice to her as possible and make sure she doesn't feel lonely or scared at home because of our parents. I still feel bad I can't do anything much more.
>>4705
You're the one who went crazy in this thread in the first place when I just dropped a post for OP. And already said I'd just leave if someone really wants me to, so, stop trying, you're bad at this. I didn't wanna be harsh, sorry, but, yeah.
>>4707
I'd like to spoil her too, I couldn't help it, but I just can't really do much myself, I did exploit Robux into her account when she was playing Roblox and that made her really happy though, lol.
>>4708
You should honestly stop avatarfagging and try to fit in. You just seem like a retarded teen to me desu.
>>4717
I'll probably just lurk here since the posts are interesting. I feel bad posting when I'm not really a NEET. I won't avatarfag if I do, though, I'm just an autistic attention whore and can't help it wherever I go, but I'll try, sorry and thanks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlOQdr4S95c
The video talks about bronies but some things apply to anime as well (except for the plot being clear depending on the anime), also explains the mental illness part even if you're not trans. skip to 11:30
Meanwhile I just want to sleep forever, haha
I used to use female names and avatars, but then I read about how it's a sin to be feminine and that that distances you from God.
Since then, I've been using avatars of masculine blonde men, since that is what we'll look like in Heaven, since that is what those with souls look like on Earth.
Hope God comes soon and removes us from this environment filled with temptations/poison.
>I used to use female names and avatars, but then I read about how it's a sin to be feminine and that that distances you from God.
Ridiculous. There is no such thing as a sin to be a slightly feminine male and you won't find an honest claim of such things in any religious literature either. You'll just hear angry people claiming god says so because they don't like it personally.
>Since then, I've been using avatars of masculine blonde men
You're not fooling anyone with that.
>Hope God comes soon and removes us from this environment filled with temptations/poison.
If there is a god they put these things here for us to enjoy. Having female names and avatars online isn't hurting anyone.
>>4629
well i never saw them that way. maybe because i watched anime even when i was young, but im unsure thats the reason. the whole idea weirds me out. i think i could have a crush on a real person but it'd be because of their personality and real people have terrible personalities so ive never had one
>>4674
I did not know what to reply to this when you posted it because it warmed my heart.
Please note I did not meant to be condescending with that post, I was just expressing myself as you said. If I were you I'd probably go outside instead of getting validation and attention from anons on the internet using avatars.
>I suppose I also probably just don't see her for what makes her truly great, like you say, if I do or not, at least these thoughts keep me going a bit in this shitty life I have...
I'll give you hint you may or may not know about that.
We are supposed to self-insert as Homura and keep trying and trying and trying and trying... In real life
>>6655
Countering my sage and necrobumping in the hopes of anon reading my post and to check my double dubs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7NsLkTqvlU
Transhumanism is the answer to your problems.
