You are not alone in the abyssal darkness. I am here and we shall face the chasm as brothers.
I would like to have someone irl
The internet feels fake, and after all devices are turned off then I am alone again
>>4697
Opposite for me. Internet relationships are pretty much all that I have, probably why.
There really are some people who can find connection through anonymous strangers on the net and everyone else.
I think one factor people often don't consider is that to have a voice online, you need to have a stronger voice. IRL you can be legitimately part of a friend group just by smiling and nodding while participating in any other activity. Online, every post you make needs to contribute to the conversation or you'll be ignored and no one will reply.
It probably also is easier for the truly autistic to sate our social need via text and I don't know what else you can do but try to become autistic. Maybe all those COVID vaccines really are worth a second look? Because vaccines give you autism FACT.
Alternatively, you can just try upping the bandwidth of online communication. Video and voice communication are better than text chat and text chat is better than an image board because it's real time. Give streaming a try. A lot of people still don't realize this but the appeal isn't the gameplay or the political commentary on twitch, it's people forming parasocial relationships. If you do it long enough you will eventually get a fanbase. I think a lot of the zoomers who don't have friends irl actually use TikTok for this. Maybe try giving discord voice chat a try.
And of course, the laziest solution if you are unwilling to try everything else is get addicted to drugs. Once you are addicted it replaces all other problems with one problem: acquiring more drugs. Worst case scenario is you die, right? If you're already suicidal, what's the problem?
>>4698
I only have one person, but we are too different, sometimes I hate him
It's not his fault, I disagree with his actions but I keep it to myself
This is false.
Shes so precious
>>4720
Why? Elaborate. I've spent most of my teens with no social interaction outside of anonymous imageboards and I felt crippling loneliness all those years. A couple of years ago I started using discord, but I only interacted with people in servers and I still felt alone. Last year however I became friends with 2 people I met there. I started voice chatting, doing video calls, playing games and watching anime with them; I also discuss philosophy and code with one of the two. I haven't felt alone since. The internet can be enough to satiate you social needs, you just need to learn how to use it for that purpose.
>>4745
i tried the having online friends thing and it didnt make the lonliness go away. it just made me anxious
>I started voice chatting, doing video calls
lol i wouldnt even do this if i had friends
im surprised you met tolerable people on discord of all places. honestly drudging thrpugh that place is a good way to become suicidal
>>4746
>tried the having online friends thing and it didnt make the lonliness go away. it just made me anxious
same exact experience.
I guess all of the internet is a psyop
there aren't any friends here.
>>4746
>lol i wouldnt even do this if i had friends
If you don't want to feel lonely you need to either interact with people in person or you need to voice chat, texting simply isn't enough, not for me at least.
>>4748
well that would explain alot. wow i just love the brain so mcuh that it wont let me be happy unles i do this extremely tedious thing i dont have any interest in doing. so fun and cool
farewell neets.
the online world is a delusion and I no longer participate in it.
>>4745
happy for you. Im very self conscious to do that or having any sort of prescience online. and yes, texting doesnt work. same thing as writing a letter and waiting for a response.
I'm drunk lol.
I’ve met tolerable people online, but at some point you have to meet up.
contemplating whether i should look for a new online friend or not
but like honestly whats the point anyway
>>4765
I'll be your online friend, if you want, although I'm lame and boring.
>what's the point
Loneliness, I guess? And talks with people can change your mood for the better, I think.
>>4766
>I'm lame and boring.
oh wow we have so much in common already!!
honestly though im terrible at friendship because i cant care about other people. im only good at talking at them rather than with them. and i have barely any real interests except "everything" because i say im interested in everything but thats actually just because im equally disinterested in everything. i guess philosophy might be the only thing im more interested in than other things but even then i dont like formalized philosophy. the kind where you list philosophers names and throw out all these pointless labels it just feels like overcomplicating something thats incredibly simple in reality
i dont know about being friends i need to think more about what to do about that but i wouldnt mind talking here if you wouldnt mind
>And talks with people can change your mood for the better, I think.
but hmm this just makes me feel like my brain is holding my dopamine and serotonin hostage for ransom and he's all like "TALK TO PEOPLE AND YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK!!!" that's just so mean of him
what are your interests and stuff? also do you have any friends already ?
>>4768
>oh wow we have so much in common already!!
Ah, well, that's nice, I guess.
>honestly though im terrible at friendship because i cant care about other people. im only good at talking at them rather than with them.
I guess I feel like this, like almost every sentence I start when talking to someone begins with an "I" and the conversation mostly seems to be about me, and I just ramble on about stuff. I do feel guilty about that, but can't really help it. Maybe this is just everyone?
>barely any real interests except "everything" because i say im interested in everything but thats actually just because im equally disinterested in everything.
Yeah, I also just can't find anything to be really interested by nowadays, I really don't do much other than post on imageboards and be typing to whoever, lately. I guess the difference is that I'm honest with it and say it as it is.
>philosophy
I've always thought of myself too stupid for anything like that, so I never bothered getting into it. I do like quotes and all with what sounds to me like insight, though. I'm easily touched by anything that comes off smart enough.
>i dont know about being friends i need to think more about what to do about that but i wouldnt mind talking here if you wouldnt mind
Ah, that's alright, I haven't been doing much else lately other than talking on imageboards, anyway, think I said already.
>but hmm this just makes me feel like my brain is holding my dopamine and serotonin hostage for ransom and he's all like "TALK TO PEOPLE AND YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK!!!" that's just so mean of him
Huh. I do relate to that a lot, actually. Thanks for putting it into words for me what I've been feeling. It really is like that. I guess I've just been addicted to being occupied with typing to whoever about anything, lately, and when I stop that I feel a bit empty.
>what are your interests and stuff?
Well, 2D girls, the internet, video games, some music, and imageboards. That.
>do you have any friends already ?
There are a couple people I've known for a long time who I like a lot, but we never really talk about anything simple like this, just really esoteric stuff, we know how to make each other laugh with even one word, and all. Other than that, not really. And goes without saying, that's only on the internet.
Oh and, sorry for the very late reply, I spaced out posting somewhere else and forgot about this site.
>>4768
>but hmm this just makes me feel like my brain is holding my dopamine and serotonin hostage for ransom and he's all like "TALK TO PEOPLE AND YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK!!!" that's just so mean of him
That is literally how it works. You are a meat robot. Do things that release the happy chemical like exercise, talking with friends, and drugs.
>>4769
>I guess I feel like this, like almost every sentence I start when talking to someone begins with an "I" and the conversation mostly seems to be about me...
Are you mentally ill, by any chance? https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/language-in-the-wild/202109/the-psychology-pronouns - Studies have shown that persons with depression tend to use personal pronouns like 'I' more commonly. It seems to denote both defensiveness, as well as a preoccupation with the self as opposed to the external. This can, at least in my very small understanding, be linked to a higher external stimuli threshold for default mode network deactivation, which is a network of the brain that deals with self concepts, and Social schemas. In general, the mentally ill are more self centered. Normies are more likely to focus on their environment. Maybe because their heads are empty and they don't have any thoughts or individuality kek. but idk really i dont know much about this subject anyway im literally just saying stuff.
anyway i actually think narcissism and being self-centered should me more socially acceptable
>I've always thought of myself too stupid for anything like that, so I never bothered getting into it.
Well i never "got into it" either. ive never read a philosophy book in my life because why would i. anything a philosopher has thought of you can think of yourself. i call it philosophy but its basically just thinking about things at all
ever heard of antinatalism? efilism?
>I haven't been doing much else lately other than talking on imageboards
same of very recent but i actually hate imageboards. i think they're terrible and i don't know why i use them. i am also socially retarded and get bored easily so lol what am i doing. tomorrow or maybe the day after ive gotta stop and escape from these congregations of autism. theyre making me dumber.
>video games, music
what games and music dyou like. any youtubers you like?
i like games too maybe not so much music. like i listen to it but i cant name albums and artists and stuff. also sometimes i read, or watch anime, or make bad music, or study stuff.
>sorry for the very late reply
it was 2 hours i think which i dont consider long but i get why someone would when they use imageboards so much
>>4770
>That is literally how it works.
yes but im still very mad at my brain for that and am currently in my teenage rebellion phase against him. also lol people always talk about how excercise release dopamine or something but i dont really get what theyre talking about i feel pretty normal when i exercise
>>4771
>Are you mentally ill, by any chance?
I've never considered myself that, but I guess I might be.
>psychologytoday
Oh, well, I've never really trusted muh experts to tell me if I'm crazy or whatever, but it might hold a candle here, I've been told by people numerous times over the past few weeks and all that I show symptoms of depression, I guess. But I don't know, I've never really accepted that I am.
I do like talking about themselves to other people and what they do and all, giving my thoughts on everything I can, but it does seem like conversation always ends up centered on me, and I can't really help it. Maybe it just seems like it because I ramble on a lot about things and tend to end up being the one typing more, so, I don't know.
>ever heard of antinatalism? efilism?
I have now, at least looked up the definition. I guess they say that life itself and giving birth is immoral? Ah, well, I mean, when it's something that inevitable, what does the morality of it matter? Isn't it just useless to think hard about? I don't know. I myself wouldn't bring anyone else to life because I simply don't want to deal with the responsibility of that and would prefer just staying as comfortable as possible, only having to feed my own mouth, and all. I also wouldn't be any good at taking care of a kid and they'd just suffer because of that, so, better off not doing anything like that. I'm guessing not much of anything I'm saying here really makes any sense, I'm pretty stupid, sorry, lol.
>same of very recent but i actually hate imageboards. i think they're terrible and i don't know why i use them.
Oh, well, I don't know if I hate imageboards themselves, I guess I should hate how much of an attention whore I am that I need something like them to keep me cranked on dopamine.
>tomorrow or maybe the day after ive gotta stop and escape from these congregations of autism. theyre making me dumber.
It's easy to tell yourself that, but hard to actually do it. I hope you manage to do so, though, because yeah, it might seem like a dumb little place where you talk to people, but imageboards can really fuck with you over extended periods of time of using the, trust me on that one if with anything.
>what games and music dyou like. any youtubers you like?
Oh, well, I'm generic. I just like FPS, listen to music either pretty much nobody knows about, or any person on the internet for more than 15 minutes would know, some stuff I've made and kept to myself, and for YouTubers I can't really think of anyone in particular I follow right now, but the list of people who I like to keep going through old videos of is too long for me to even start about, so, yeah, really nothing interesting, anyway. One thing I do like in particular though is putting on a playlist of Chris-Chan's videos on shuffle and it makes for great background noise when my ears dont have enough energy to listen to music, and good enough to keep me not bored when I'm having a snack or eating anything because I just have to be watching a video when I do that, for some reason.
>listen to it but i cant name albums and artists and stuff
Yeah, I do listen to a fair lot myself, but I'd have trouble naming stuff off the top of my head.
>sometimes i read
I'm not really much into books, the only kind of them I've read were personal ones about war and stuff, cause I've always thought it to be cool to be reading about the Vietnam War and all.
>watch anime
I actually only watch anime like, once every 3 years. But I do like 2D girls a loooooot. I guess I'm just more comfortable with manga, also.
>study stuff.
I'm really far behind on my school studies, and I'm too stupid to be learning about any of the smart people stuff like math and all, so, I never do that, that's one thing I would only do with a gun pointed at my head to do it.
>it was 2 hours i think which i dont consider long
Ah, well, I just feel bad at the thought of keeping someone waiting.
That was probably a whole lot of rambling about nothing, sorry again, lol.
>>4772
>Oh, well, I've never really trusted muh experts to tell me if I'm crazy or whatever
no, me neither. But it seems pretty difficult to say they're mistaken here. I found the point comparing poets who commited suicide and poets who didn't and how the ones who did used 'I' more often especially poignant. actually ive sorta become really dissulusioned with psychiatry in general. its not that i believe theyre wrong or stupid, perse, its more like i dont like the idea of just trusting in that authority without thinking about it. I dont think we understand the brain as well as they would claim.
nah but really saying 'i' alot probably can't be said to indicate anything. i probably gave normies too much credit when i said theyre more concerned with their enviorments. theyre pretty self centred theirselves mostly
>I guess they say that life itself and giving birth is immoral?
If we're being pedantic, it'd be something more like "the creation of new sentience, for the individual created, is necessarily a harm/deficit".
>when it's something that inevitable, what does the morality of it matter? Isn't it just useless to think hard about?
on an individual level, it does matter, yeah. If, say, you convinced a single person that the act of procreation was unethical, therefore deterring them from partaking in it, where prior they had intended to or considered procreating, that would be the deterrence of a harm that would have otherwise occurred. i dont know if i phrased that well but it doesn't really matter anyway. efilism is different. it basically claims that the extinction of life is the ultimate moral good. although i hold this view its not practical anyway because theres no way itll happen so you'd be right to call this one a bit pointless to think about
>I'm guessing not much of anything I'm saying here really makes any sense
well thats fine i was the one who brought up a topic you said you sucked at
> I hope you manage to do so
thank you! ill try. its just that the hardest part is trying to resolve my lonliness and desire to express myself to others which draws me to ib in the first place. or more like the emptiness and anxiety that talking about garbage fills? anyway i tried all the mainstream social medias first but it took like 5 mminutes to realize they were all normies i couldnt relate to. so then i started looking into more obscure places and even though i feel i fit in a bit better here it still doesn't really feel right. at this rate i might actually start looking in real life lol. mostly i just want to find someone who inspires me in some way. i think thats all i really want out of other people. i want them to inspire or interest me. and its why im so obsessed with weird or unique people because that kind of novelty has mroe potential to inspire or interest me or something idk im just saying stuff.
>FPS
ive played call of duty and doom do those count kek
>listen to music either pretty much nobody knows about
well that interests me things that are niche tend to be more interesting
i will mention something i like listenting to. erik saties music (if you dont know hes a classical pianist) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-Xm7s9eGxU , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO53tXq0tMs , i especially like these. other than that im one of those faggots who listens to game music. i think game music is actually underrated you dont really see the same diversity of genres and styles anywhere else. jazz funk city pop stuff like that is also good
>the only kind of them I've read were personal ones about war and stuff
oh well if you know any good books on that topic id be interested to hear them i think that could be interesting
> Chris-Chan
i honestly dont know much about him i just see people never shutting up about this guy. i might watch some videos about that stuff someday to get up to date about it but the general impression i get is that some depraved retards bullied him a bunch and now hes even more insane then he was and somehow theyre blaming him for it when they made him that way. but again i dont know much about that whole thing. it interests me though i think ill look into it at some point
>I actually only watch anime like, once every 3 years
well honestly same mostly. but thats just because i find anime to be a kinda mediocre medium. i find the good anime are good not because theyre anime but in spite of being anime basically. i guess my favourite is serial experiments lain? thats a really boring pick though.
> But I do like 2D girls a loooooot
well theyre good fap bait. i tend not to particularly care unless theyre actually interesting characters though
>I guess I'm just more comfortable with manga
Yes ive been meaning to reafd mroe manga! ive only read one which was recently and i think ill read some others once im done with all the other stuff im doing. it seems like manga is geberally better than anime at least i get that impression it could be wrong
>I'm really far behind on my school studies
well i stopped going ages ago and just do nothing all day so i am also. I tend to get really annoyed by my own ignorance. like to an unreasonable extent the idea of not knowing things really pisses me off. but i just feel like i know literally nothing. so i do occasionally try to learn things, if mostly to give myself more freedom. ive been trying to learn to play the piano recently, and also ive been learning latin for some reason, which is actually kind of fun when its not tedious. i really like the sentence structure and stuff. Plus i think it'd be really funny once i learn it to write a journal and write all my personal stuff in latin to confuse people. oh and just going up to people and talking to them in latin and seeing them confused would be funny as well
>rambling about nothing
meh. honestly ive been trying really hard to just say whatever i please online without caring or worrying about other people or what they think. so if i feel like rambling i try to just do it since this is the internet so who cares and were all gonna die some day anyawy
> I just feel bad at the thought of keeping someone waiting
oh well i appreciate it.
oh i didnt even realise i wrote so much. sorry to everyone else who dared to hope they could scroll this thread without a text wall kek
>>4773
>actually ive sorta become really dissulusioned with psychiatry in general. its not that i believe theyre wrong or stupid, perse, its more like i dont like the idea of just trusting in that authority without thinking about it. I dont think we understand the brain as well as they would claim.
I just don't think I should go around thinking I'm mentally ill and beating myself up over it just because the expert and the studies said so. I guess that's a bit ignorant, though, these things probably do help people have outlook on themselves, I guess.
>nah but really saying 'i' alot probably can't be said to indicate anything.
Yeah, I guess, I'm just overthinking it. I do have a bunch of dumb typing quirks and all.
>it basically claims that the extinction of life is the ultimate moral good
Well, in that case, I guess I'd be okay with things being immoral. I like life, I think.
>you'd be right to call this one a bit pointless to think about
Ah, well, I guess it probably doesn't really matter anyway if something's pointless to think about, a lot of things we think about just are, I guess. It's an interesting thought.
>its just that the hardest part is trying to resolve my lonliness and desire to express myself to others which draws me to ib in the first place.
Well, I guess I do know the feel. I bet if you find a good friend or two you like, you'll be able to get away from imageboards. If you get carried on spending time with someone, you'll see that you just don't feel like coming to these places. I don't know if I feel sure enough of it that I should, but yeah, I promise you that. And you know, I guess if you just find anything you like spending a lot of time in, trying to get good at it or whatever, that'd also work.
>anyway i tried all the mainstream social medias first but it took like 5 mminutes to realize they were all normies i couldnt relate to. so then i started looking into more obscure places and even though i feel i fit in a bit better here it still doesn't really feel right. at this rate i might actually start looking in real life lol.
You know, it's really hard to find that special someone. If you do, it'll be from an absurd coincidence, in a place where you'd last expect to find your future best friend or whatever. You just can't do it from trying, I think. The couple friends I talked about before that I said I like a lot, I didn't find them from looking around desperately, I found them from a string of coincidences linked back to something I liked doing a lot. But maybe that's just me, but that's how it really feels like, since pretty much everyone I've really liked on the internet, I've met that way.
>mostly i just want to find someone who inspires me in some way. i think thats all i really want out of other people. i want them to inspire or interest me. and its why im so obsessed with weird or unique people because that kind of novelty has mroe potential to inspire or interest me or something idk im just saying stuff.
It's alright, I know what you mean, although I don't have much to add on it, I'm pretty tired right now, but I do know exactly what you're talking about.
>ive played call of duty and doom do those count kek
Ah, yeah, lol, I do like CoD, and some Doom mods are fun.
>well that interests me things that are niche tend to be more interesting
I don't know how to explain it, or where to start, or anything, so I'll just skip that since I'm tired, sorry, lol.
>Gymnopedie
Oh, I actually know about that song, I guess it's pretty popular, it's one of my go-to songs for when I need something gentle just playing in the background, it always sets a weird, but nice mood for whatever I'm doing.
>other than that im one of those faggots who listens to game music
Lol, well, I guess I do too, from time to time, not a big deal, some games do have good music.
>oh well if you know any good books on that topic id be interested to hear them
There's one that I recall enough to mention, Chickenhawk, by Robert Mason. He was a pilot in Vietnam, and it's a pretty interesting read. There was also another one that I liked, but, damn, I just can't recall the name of it, oh, well. I don't read books much, lol. Oh, Steve-O from Jackass has a memoir, and it's pretty cool, I liked that, also.
>i honestly dont know much about him
I find it just really relaxing to listen to the autistic sperging in the background about whatever while I'm doing anything. There's a whole documentary or whatever some faggot made about him, check it out if you want. It's pretty long and all, though, so, if you don't have the time, some things in particular I'd recommend are a few of the phone calls people have had with him. Search it up on YouTube sometime if you feel like it and put it up on the background.
>well theyre good fap bait. i tend not to particularly care unless theyre actually interesting characters though
Lol, yeah, but yeah, the last part goes for me more so.
>it seems like manga is geberally better than anime at least i get that impression it could be wrong
Well, I think it is when the franchise was originally a manga then got turned into anime, but if it started out as an anime they don't have the mindset of having to condense everything into 12 episodes or whatever and everything. I guess anime is just also harder to make. I personally find manga more comfortable because you can open it up and read some pages whenever and wherever you feel like it. My favorite thing in particular that came out was from anime, though.
>I tend to get really annoyed by my own ignorance. like to an unreasonable extent the idea of not knowing things really pisses me off.
That, and I get very easily jealous of people who just, do know things.
>i just feel like i know literally nothing. so i do occasionally try to learn things
I guess the same here, but I can't even bring myself to learn anything.
>ive been trying to learn to play the piano recently, and also ive been learning latin for some reason
That's nice, good luck with both of them, hope you stay interested long enough to get good at either.
>i really like the sentence structure and stuff.
I think I'm too stupid to even try learning a new language, lol. I'm just really bad at memorization. I only learnt english because of my internet addiction from when I was little.
>meh. honestly ive been trying really hard to just say whatever i please online without caring or worrying about other people or what they think.
I think it's hard not to care, when all you have is online, no? You don't have anything else you can worry about like that. But, yeah, I just ramble on about things too, but I feel bad if I went way too off-track from what someone was talking to me about, and all.
>oh well i appreciate it.
Yeah, this one was late too, sorry and I couldn't write much back either, I'm really tired and everything, I just wanted to reply back before going to sleep. Thank you for the talk, I think you're cool, so, good luck with whatever you do.
>>4777
>I guess I'd be okay with things being immoral. I like life, I think.
I will say that whether a particular individual likes life or not has no bearing on the answer of whether efilism is the utilitarian outcome or not. But luckily for you, unless something extremely unlikely happens, life won't be ending anytime soon.
>I bet if you find a good friend or two you like, you'll be able to get away from imageboards
I don't even know... I've had online friends before. But I just get bored of them so easily, and it never really feels like enough regardless. I wonder if I can even call this loneliness. It feels like something much more fundamental.
>The couple friends I talked about before that I said I like a lot, I didn't find them from looking around desperately, I found them from a string of coincidences linked back to something I liked doing a lot.
You might be right that trying won't work. You're really lucky in that sense that you found such good friends.
>Oh, I actually know about that song, I guess it's pretty popular
Yeah, gymnopedie. no 1 appears everywhere.
>weird, but nice mood
Satie in general is great at creating a tonality like that. I wish I had even half his talent.
>Chickenhawk, by Robert Mason
thanks for the recommendation, i'll probably buy it at some point
>There's a whole documentary or whatever some faggot made about him
D'you mean the one that's like 50 parts long? I've probably read visual novels longer than how long it is, so chances are i'll watch it at some point.
>a few of the phone calls people have had with him
I think ive heard some of them. Like the one where some kid pretends to be his girlfriend or something. I don't know if I could listen to anything else like that without just getting depressed.
>hope you stay interested long enough to get good at either.
Heh, I won't. Maybe when i'm 70
>I only learnt english because of my internet addiction from when I was little.
This seems pretty common.
>I think it's hard not to care, when all you have is online, no?
It's interesting, but yeah. It's really odd, but i've become so detatched from the real world that a large portion of my anxiety with it has actually disappeared. But i'm not the same way with the internet, because it's basically where I exist.
>but I feel bad if I went way too off-track from what someone was talking to me about, and all.
Same, but I try not to. I really hate the idea of adjusting my actions to accommodate other people. It just feels fake.
>I just wanted to reply back before going to sleep. Thank you for the talk, I think you're cool
It's late for me as well. I wonder if we have similar time zones. Or maybe you just sleep during the day. But anyway, thanks, et tu. If anything you're extremely patient for putting up with me.
I think i'm gonna try to quit the internet now. This disconnect and emptiness seems insurmountable. I don't understand anything.
mmm there seems to be 4 options:
1.get internet friends (voicechat minimum) and have fun.
2.¨quit¨ the internet and go outside to make irl friends. You'll have to stay in contact with them online so...
3.quit interacting with people on the internet. no imageboards or social media. using the internet as a window to the world,
becoming a 21st century version of the MC from notes from the underground. Maybe
doing productive things with your free time.
4.stay where you are. having mostly unfulfilling conversations via text on the internet
I'm a mix between 3 and 4. I stop using imageboards because it feels lonely and meaningless until not interacting with anyone (outside of my family) becomes meaningless again. at least I don't feel the need to use them compulsively like before. everything in moderation.
>>4754 [my post]
>prescience
presence*. Thinking about it, anonymity made me way too comfortable, I wonder how would I be If I have never discovered them. Using a handle online might get you judged but nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.
a lot of neets seem to have an idealistic version of friendship and human relationships preventing them from even wanting to interact with others even if they actually want to lol, I'm trying to work on that, personally. Until then, I guess I'm stuck here sharing my thoughts hoping someone else can relate to them and vice versa. it's a nice feeling.
>>4779
>I've had online friends before. But I just get bored of them so easily, and it never really feels like enough regardless. I wonder if I can even call this loneliness. It feels like something much more fundamental.
You just haven't found the right person.
>You might be right that trying won't work. You're really lucky in that sense that you found such good friends.
Yeah, I really don't think it does, although, you might also get lucky while trying, you know?
>D'you mean the one that's like 50 parts long? I've probably read visual novels longer than how long it is, so chances are i'll watch it at some point.
Yeah, that one. Oh and, I like VNs too, although it's really hard for me to pick up and go through one. It has to really interest me.
>I think ive heard some of them. Like the one where some kid pretends to be his girlfriend or something. I don't know if I could listen to anything else like that without just getting depressed.
I haven't listened to that one myself. My favorite is the Lars call, that one's pretty funny, and doesn't even have any mean spirit in it.
>but i've become so detatched from the real world that a large portion of my anxiety with it has actually disappeared. But i'm not the same way with the internet, because it's basically where I exist.
I guess I can relate. Although I'm still a very self-conscious person in real life, but yeah, I've been more relaxed compared to the mess I was not too long ago.
>Same, but I try not to. I really hate the idea of adjusting my actions to accommodate other people. It just feels fake.
Ah, well, it's not fake if it's what you really do feel like, so, yeah.
>It's late for me as well. I wonder if we have similar time zones. Or maybe you just sleep during the day. But anyway, thanks, et tu. If anything you're extremely patient for putting up with me.
It was like two AM before I posted that and went to sleep yesterday, I think. And no problem, I enjoyed the conversation.
>I think i'm gonna try to quit the internet now. This disconnect and emptiness seems insurmountable. I don't understand anything.
Good luck, if you think that's the right thing to do.
Figured I might as well write back since I'm at an internet cafe and trying to kill time.
>>4785
I said i'd quit but I can't waste an oppurtunity to shill VN's I like kek.
>Oh and, I like VNs too, although it's really hard for me to pick up and go through one. It has to really interest me.
My two favourite visual novels are subarashiki hibi and remember 11: The Age of Infinity. The first three-ish hours of subahibi are kinda terrible (for a reason) but its really good you should check it out if you haven't. And Remember 11 has one of the coolest twists i've ever seen in anything ever although it isn't for everyone. I'd recommend that too but anyone who wants to play it should also check this out once they finish it: https://adayem.wordpress.com/ - I've been meaning to read I/O and root double because they're by the same writer as Remember 11.
>Lars call
I have heard of this. It sounds funny, i'll check it out.
>You just haven't found the right person.
Well, I hope so. That person would have to be incredibly exceptional. But i'm willing to bet that the problem isn't other people. It's me. Like >>4784 said something about being too idealistic about friendship. In my case, I think it also has something to do with my lack of identity.
>internet cafe
One time I noticed somebody had left their email logged on at an internet cafe so I used that to convince my entire family I had hacked into their account and was an epic hackerman. Do you see anybody who's accidentally left their emails logged in? It's a business opportunity!
Alright, i'm gonna go do some stuff with my existence now kek.
It was my birthday yesterday
>>4790
>My two favourite visual novels
Mine's probably Chaos;Head, because it's one of the only ones I've played, lol. But I did like it. Especially because of the MC. Did lose it's appeal for me towards the later parts, though.
I might check out the second one you mentioned, but there's this thing with me and VNs where 90% of my interest in them drops if there's no character that I don't like the looks of.
>Well, I hope so. That person would have to be incredibly exceptional. But i'm willing to bet that the problem isn't other people. It's me.
Again, you just haven't found the right person. I don't think you're supposed to be interested in and make friends with every random you conversate with, that's normal.
>One time I noticed somebody had left their email logged on at an internet cafe
They've become more sophisticated here, so you can't do anything like that. Although, back in the past, me and a friend in middle school stole an account from someone in a game doing that, it's pretty cool to do, yeah.
>Alright, i'm gonna go do some stuff with my existence now kek.
Good luck. Was gonna reply last night, but had a mood swing.
>>4797
Yeah, i've also been meaning to play Chaos;Head. I've just been waiting for them to finish translating Chaos;Head Noah.
>>4800
>Chaos;Head Noah.
I think you'd be safe to play the original now, it has replayability because of the main mechanic.
...and make sure to know about that because I didn't and I played through the whole game without knowing anything about it.
come join
https://discord.gg/4FDdV4E9tr
here's a song that might make you feel better i definitely does for me. when ever i get angry i go in my car and sing it at the top of my lungs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM2Q_8CPLno
I guess it'd be nice to have some friends and to play some games together, etc.
But it appears that God wants me to be isolated from the rest of the world. That's why He removed me from the jobs I used to have and imprisoned me in my room. That's also why He made me look like an ogre, because He doesn't want me to mindlessly find "romance" either.
I'm glad He did those things, since it'd be hard to escape them and to learn about their evils.
The Sons of God should never have sex/give in to lust, because that moves you further towards being a blind beast, instead of being your own person/having and exercising your free-will. That is the meaning of life.
I'm... so lonely.
I can't connect with anyone.
I suppose that's good. Needing others makes you weak. You need to learn to control yourself.
I guess it'd be nice to have some actual friends, that won't mind sitting around doing nothing. Although I'd want to play games with them. The "people" you find in games only want to use you to help them with competitive bs or to entertain them.
Maybe there'll be real friends in Heaven.
I'm all alone in my room. No friends. "family" doesn't care about me.
I wish I didn't become like this.
I'd like to live in the country - even if it's in some trailer - and have a job where I can be by myself, even if it's just packing shelves.
I hope my life ends soon. I can't keep going on like this. It feels like I've been stretched to my limits.
https://boards.4channel.org/x/thread/31786833