this is such a small corner of the internet, im thinking about making a thread here to be my personal blog because writing things down in my diary just isnt doing it for me anymore
He’s never coming back, is he?
I'll start at some point.. now is good I guess. i dont write every day, usually only when the feeling hits me.
today has been alright, I'm going to try to sleep at a reasonable time. I've fallen into this horrible habit of staying up until early morning, then sleeping all day. I used to get up early because I like to fit as much as I can into a day. Its the same reason why I have such a hard time falling asleep, im always thinking "have I fit in as much as I can into today? Did i waste too much time? Could I be doing more" and at that point sleeping becomes a massive waste of time that would be better spent doing anything else. I dont even have anything pressing or important to do, I'm just too anxious to lay there and fall asleep. I set an alarm for an hour or two later so I can get back up and be productive but I'll sleep through it and wake up at noon, and then realizing that I've wasted half the day I'll stay up late again. Need to break this cycle soon, because its starting to affect my eating habits as well and lately I've had a constant headache. I think this is a side effect of my main problem of having a lack of purpose; I do everything trying to find something fulfilling and am still dissatisfied and empty in the end, anxiety and indecision bubbling up within me
Oh well, maybe a good nights sleep will help calm me down