>>394
Thank you for making this thread... I have never been able to tell my full story. I hope you don't mind reading it. I sympathize with yours.

I was an average kid as well; my decline started around puberty I think. Socializing never came easy to me, but it wasn't a problem when I was a child. By the time of puberty age, around 12 or 13, people started to take notice of the fact that I couldn't properly socialize. I adapted to this by trying to mimic behavior of my peers for better and for worse. This worked... until it didn't and I ended up leaving my school to finish the year in an online home school to avoid the bullying. It was never physical but the taunting and tormenting hurt me emotionally. When I started high school the next year I went to a technical high school (This meant you were able to choose a focus based on a career field: medical, engineering, graphic arts. If you are curious I was in the graphic arts.). Most of my classmates were nerdy sorts and not of the typical high school personalities. Although my time there wasn't without hiccups, I made a good friend and got along well with many classmates. My main blunder was leaving that school. For my third year of high school, I switched from the technical school to an early college program. Now this meant that I was taking college classes at my community college and I could use the college classes as credit for my high school classes too. So in theory I would be able to graduate high school with a two-year college degree (called an associate degree here in the US). Unsuprisingly, this program attracted a more mature high school crowd. I switched to this school accompanied by my good friend from the technical school. At this point in my life I thought I was going to be able to recover from my adolescent problems and be somewhat advantaged after I graduate. I also need to clarify that I was not at all a tier one student of any sort; I was the kid that did his homework before each class it was due and studied for the tests minutes before I took them. My life away from school was spent playing video games and watching anime. [CONT]

>>469
Anyway, at the community college the students were very different from the technical high school. And because it was a community college my classes had mostly 18-24 year-olds in them. I was still an oblivious and immature 16 year-old; this new crowd of people scared me. On top of this, my good friend from the technical school started to seperate himself from me. We were both akward kids at this college now, and wanted to partake in the same lifestyle the others did. I lost my only friend I had at that school and struggled to find a new group. My old friend was still an acquaintance, but he was now taking girls into the bathroom (to... you know...). I found my way into a new friend group mostly because the group had pity on me being alone. I didn't fit in much with them; they had similiar habits to the other students, but I was grateful to have some people that didn't mind having the pathetic kid in their group. I made it through the first semester without any major problems. At my technical high school I had a personality, I could talk with others, I could laugh; now I felt like a shell of my former self, anxiety flushed away all my other emotions. The second semester marked a major downward spiral in my life. My communication skills were worst than they were ever before. I could exemplify my time with just one situation that illustrates how I felt. When the class was called upon to split up into groups to discuss a subject, I was too nervous to get up and find someone. This was noticed... and when I was called upon to get up, I broke down into hysterical crying. The kind when you are so short of breath all you can do is gasp for air. It was all the worse that the class was watching; I couldn't imagine a more pathetic scenario. I had to walk out of class and it was never the same from then on. My school life has never been without emotional breakdowns, but I was able to recover from the others. I finished that year of school from then on wearing a long black hoodie to hide myself and I failed most of my classes. I was more withdrawn into video games and anime than ever before. For my last year of school, I was 17 years old now, I switched back to online home school.

>>470
I wanted eagerly to drop out of high school but my parents wouldn't let me. The online school was hardly online this time. I had to visit their on-site location habitually. I had no motivation to ever log-in and do my coursework. The teachers there were sympathetic, the hysterical emotional breakdown that was once a singular event, now became customary. I finished virtually none of my courses, and the teachers cut much of the coursework for me. Because I had already finished many of the college classes that these high school classes were supposed to prepare me for, they gave me a high school diploma quite easily. I never bothered going to the graduation ceremony and from that point on I have done nothing. I have been a neet now for years. My parents tried therapists, psychiatrists, et cetera. throughout my life, but none of it was beneficial. That could be another story in itself with some of those idiotic psychiatrists. I kept in touch with my old technical school friend through video games up until two years ago when I said goodbye and permanently logged off. We often played video games together up until then. It is odd to explain, we sort of disassociated our real life with online life. He never talked about why he seperated himself from me, maybe he even thought it was me who seperated because I was a social outcast. I felt too pathetic to continue talking with him because he has a successful life and I am a useless leech on my parents. He was the only person from my life that I kept talking to, no one at the college even bothered to ask why I stopped showing up. I lost my motivation to continue with any of my hobbies, and now I spend all my time on imageboards.

>>471
I didn't intend on writing this much. I am sorry for you if you read through that mess, but I am thankful to write it all out for once. I hope it makes sense and there are not too many mistakes.

I find it funny when parents don't teach morality or basic life skills to their kids, but then tell all their friends about how hard it is to be a parent, or how they struggled raising a child on their own as a single mother, and bs like that.
But you can't expect morality from retards.
Anyone that has sex doesn't have a soul.
God would never let one of His Sons be led into that temptation.
women are shit and I hope God deletes them all soon.

I'm lazy and apathetic. There is no other reason.

>>394
Probably the first red flag was being diagnosed with autism.
I was a "gifted child", meaning i was completely fucking amazing at school. And we all know how that ends up. High expectations build up and all that. I got introduced to vidya and anime at a young age so i fucking got hooked on that shit. The second red flag was when I got my first laptop and i fucking ADORED the internet. i never wanted to be apart from it. of course since i was still at school at that time, this wasn't going to end well.
Of course, i basically had very little friends and that number eventually crashed to a whopping zero as the final years of school came up. My teaching assistant during my final years became abusive and i just went "ok fuck this" and left. I got accepted into a course on IT but i failed the first half so i didn't get in the second half. And now i spend all my time on the internet. I still live with my parents and i just know my mom probably hates me since there's nothing she can do to "fix" me and i'm stuck here whether she likes it or not. Dad meanwhile just gave up and stopped caring. My older sister is a huge bitch about it but since she recently exposed her anti-vaxxing powerlevel, i'm never listening to that cunt again (basically she got the vaccine because she "had to" but won't give her kids the vaccine). I'm much happier being a NEET though, i think i would have hated being a wagie.

I grew up in a black majority city as one of the few white kids, I was out of place and had few friends. At school I was bullied and I'd get jumped. At home, my father was an alcoholic and my mother addicted to pills. My father would scream in my face and call me retarded as a little kid, my mother would be too strung out to do much. I spent a long time in the ghettos and homeless with my family as a kid, my parents had to run away from the law for selling pills so I stopped going to school young. When things stabilized a little, I retreated into my room. Books, games, anime, anything that would take me far away. When I got older, drugs that I'd buy off the net when the former stopped working. So many drugs. I killed off a part of myself that I don't think is going to come back. I don't go outside and I stare at my screen, doing generally the same thing, every day, for years on end. I delude myself into thinking I'm okay because I know if I complain too much, it'll spiral and I'll be close to killing myself again. I don't feel human.

>>5347
>black majority city
You could’ve stopped there.

>>4257
That explains failure to get a job, but not necessarily social failure. For neets who have no friends something more than aversion to hard work is going on.

>>5370
oh well i have no friends.

its because im not normal and i hate pretending to be someone im not. idk i cant really explain it its just the way things turned out and having friends would feel weird and like why would i make any when most people are so boring

I think middle school completely destroyed my self esteem and motivation. Prior to that I was always a spaz that had a hard time making friends and reading a room. The few friends I did make either got annoyed with me or we'd grow apart after I would transfer schools which was a constant experience. I had a "circle of friends" in middle school that only really kept me around to be the punchline of all their "jokes". I wasn't particularly liked among my peers or my teachers, it also became clear to me that I wasn't allowed to defend or advocate for myself and that the teachers were always right. Any incident I was involved in whether that be a fight or a misunderstanding would have me pinned as the antagonist and any attempt to give my side of things would be swiftly shut down by an adult who already made up their mind. That's not to say that I was a perfect angel who did no wrong at anytime but bullshit is bullshit. I started associating school as a negative place to be at that time. While I wouldn't describe the behavior among my "circle of friends" as being bullied I was viciously bullied outside of school by these other kids who would occupy the park in front of my house. Everytime I'd get back home from school they'd be right there waiting to get their kicks at my expense for the day. I'd avoid going outside when I wasn't at school so I wouldn't be harassed. It wasn't any better at home either, me and my mom had far from an ideal relationship, she seemed to find any excuse to start an argument with me and we never really got along the way a normal mother and son would. When it wasn't just us in the house she'd have her alcoholic boyfriend over, who she'd argue with every other night, kick him out and have him come back repeating the cycle. I eventually started avoiding having to interact with my mom by isolating myself in my room or hiding away at a public library until closing time (a popular pass time of mine) I think what really did me in was not getting into my high school of choice. I had always loved drawing for as long as I could remember, and middle school was when I realized I could turn that into a career. I spent three years building my portfolio and practicing, unfortunately after an audition I wasn't accepted. It probably didn't have to end there, I most likely could've re-auditioned after my first year of High School and transfered but that moment was exactly when I stopped caring about anything. Slowly stopped going to school, slowly stopped trying to make friends, slowly stopped going outside, just stopped making an effort.

>>5392
Practically the same. Fourth grade is where it all went downhill for me from the start, but life throughout middle school is what did me in for good.