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share your stories ITT No.394

how did you end up the way you are right now? how and why did you become a neet? share your stories ITT
i once was a pretty normal kid. throughout my whole life i always had a small group of 4-5 friends i'd hang out with. i was always pretty awkward, but i was never bullied or hated. in my country students don't move from class to class like in the US. we are divided into classes of around 30 students and the teachers are the ones that move around. because of this people tend to create strong bonds with people they go to school with since they stay with the same people for 6 hours a day for years on end and friend groups are usually all from the same class. on the third year of high school the classes change. everyone was making new friends except for me. that was a very sad period of my life and i didn't feel like socializing so i isolated myself and i pushed my old friends away. i tried making friends later on, but it was too late. the social groups were already formed and i was doomed to be alone for the next 3 years. because of the isolation my social skills started deteriorating and i became more awkward than usual. people were nice to me, but they would always gossip and make fun of me behind my back. i get why they did it. i was a human trainwreck and i must have been fun to point and laugh at, but it still did hurt. because of all the hate my social skills deteriorated ever further. by the 4th year of high school some roastie sluts even started outright hating me and being cunts to me for no reason. i eventually snapped and dropped out of high school. i've been a friendless neet ever since.


Thank you for making this thread... I have never been able to tell my full story. I hope you don't mind reading it. I sympathize with yours.

I was an average kid as well; my decline started around puberty I think. Socializing never came easy to me, but it wasn't a problem when I was a child. By the time of puberty age, around 12 or 13, people started to take notice of the fact that I couldn't properly socialize. I adapted to this by trying to mimic behavior of my peers for better and for worse. This worked... until it didn't and I ended up leaving my school to finish the year in an online home school to avoid the bullying. It was never physical but the taunting and tormenting hurt me emotionally. When I started high school the next year I went to a technical high school (This meant you were able to choose a focus based on a career field: medical, engineering, graphic arts. If you are curious I was in the graphic arts.). Most of my classmates were nerdy sorts and not of the typical high school personalities. Although my time there wasn't without hiccups, I made a good friend and got along well with many classmates. My main blunder was leaving that school. For my third year of high school, I switched from the technical school to an early college program. Now this meant that I was taking college classes at my community college and I could use the college classes as credit for my high school classes too. So in theory I would be able to graduate high school with a two-year college degree (called an associate degree here in the US). Unsuprisingly, this program attracted a more mature high school crowd. I switched to this school accompanied by my good friend from the technical school. At this point in my life I thought I was going to be able to recover from my adolescent problems and be somewhat advantaged after I graduate. I also need to clarify that I was not at all a tier one student of any sort; I was the kid that did his homework before each class it was due and studied for the tests minutes before I took them. My life away from school was spent playing video games and watching anime. [CONT]


Anyway, at the community college the students were very different from the technical high school. And because it was a community college my classes had mostly 18-24 year-olds in them. I was still an oblivious and immature 16 year-old; this new crowd of people scared me. On top of this, my good friend from the technical school started to seperate himself from me. We were both akward kids at this college now, and wanted to partake in the same lifestyle the others did. I lost my only friend I had at that school and struggled to find a new group. My old friend was still an acquaintance, but he was now taking girls into the bathroom (to... you know...). I found my way into a new friend group mostly because the group had pity on me being alone. I didn't fit in much with them; they had similiar habits to the other students, but I was grateful to have some people that didn't mind having the pathetic kid in their group. I made it through the first semester without any major problems. At my technical high school I had a personality, I could talk with others, I could laugh; now I felt like a shell of my former self, anxiety flushed away all my other emotions. The second semester marked a major downward spiral in my life. My communication skills were worst than they were ever before. I could exemplify my time with just one situation that illustrates how I felt. When the class was called upon to split up into groups to discuss a subject, I was too nervous to get up and find someone. This was noticed... and when I was called upon to get up, I broke down into hysterical crying. The kind when you are so short of breath all you can do is gasp for air. It was all the worse that the class was watching; I couldn't imagine a more pathetic scenario. I had to walk out of class and it was never the same from then on. My school life has never been without emotional breakdowns, but I was able to recover from the others. I finished that year of school from then on wearing a long black hoodie to hide myself and I failed most of my classes. I was more withdrawn into video games and anime than ever before. For my last year of school, I was 17 years old now, I switched back to online home school.


I wanted eagerly to drop out of high school but my parents wouldn't let me. The online school was hardly online this time. I had to visit their on-site location habitually. I had no motivation to ever log-in and do my coursework. The teachers there were sympathetic, the hysterical emotional breakdown that was once a singular event, now became customary. I finished virtually none of my courses, and the teachers cut much of the coursework for me. Because I had already finished many of the college classes that these high school classes were supposed to prepare me for, they gave me a high school diploma quite easily. I never bothered going to the graduation ceremony and from that point on I have done nothing. I have been a neet now for years. My parents tried therapists, psychiatrists, et cetera. throughout my life, but none of it was beneficial. That could be another story in itself with some of those idiotic psychiatrists. I kept in touch with my old technical school friend through video games up until two years ago when I said goodbye and permanently logged off. We often played video games together up until then. It is odd to explain, we sort of disassociated our real life with online life. He never talked about why he seperated himself from me, maybe he even thought it was me who seperated because I was a social outcast. I felt too pathetic to continue talking with him because he has a successful life and I am a useless leech on my parents. He was the only person from my life that I kept talking to, no one at the college even bothered to ask why I stopped showing up. I lost my motivation to continue with any of my hobbies, and now I spend all my time on imageboards.


I didn't intend on writing this much. I am sorry for you if you read through that mess, but I am thankful to write it all out for once. I hope it makes sense and there are not too many mistakes.