Yeah I did so about 1 year ago today, it was really stupid because now I have huge keloid scars on my upper thigh that will be there eternally
Yes, I self-harmed a lot during 2018-2019. All on my thighs and left forearm. I don't care about the scars in the least, tbh.
Another form other than cutting were eating disorders. I had anorexia during those years, and then came a point in 2019 where I binged and could no longer stop, so I started making myself vomit. I'd then binge and purge some 3-4 times a day. That all lasted until mid-2020. I haven't made myself vomit in almost two years, but I still have tendencies to starve and binge, and feeling mentally satiated is no longer a thing for me no matter how much I may eat. I think I permanently messed up some things about my mind.
not diagnosed because poorfag/plain stupid
Maybe there is a free way but I'm too ashamed
I'm sure I have mental illness, but I didn't diagnosed. My paranoia won't let me go to doctor or therapist. Also I'm such poor to keep my health be stable.
I did self-harm on my left hand and neck. Those are kinda ruined and abominated but I don't really care.
>>6534
I think it spawned during secondary school when i was at my lowest points because every day when I was alone, i looked over at the front display where there was an assembly platform and imagined hanging myself from the rafters so my dead body could be seen in front of everyone. Now every time I see a bar in a ceiling, i imagine what it would be like to hang myself off it. Never self-harmed though, i think i was close to doing it once but i was too much of a pussy to actually do it.
Ages 9-13 is when I knew some sort of depression came up, but everyone denied it and shrugged it off as hormones. It wasn't until 15 where I got sent to a mental hospital after breaking down in my school at the time saying I'd kill everyone in the room and myself. I jumped through a lot of medication and was diagnosed with manic depression. After multiple more manic episodes which got me sent to more hospitals, later it became schizoaffective disorder. And here I am now alone and on government money.
The years of neglected depression + shitty meds is what turned me schizo, I know that for sure. What really fucking sucks is that I'm aware enough to know I'm a crazy person when I'm not having a manic episode.
I would cut myself and even tried hanging myself and therapy did nothing to help as it never does. I got put on risperidone like saint ER but it made me more morose and suicidal, i got took off that and put on benzos and olanzapine that only made me worse fortunately the shrinks took me off the benzos due to external persuasion, shrinks never listen to the patient my cat is the only one keeping me from suicide. I'm currently in a state of medical mutiny to get what i want, i am very good at manipulating my nurse she just hands me the pills and leaves so i just hide them in a biscuit tin.
I have been self harming since I can remember. I used to cut/scratch/piss my mom off so she could beat me. I'm almost 30 and punch myself a lot. Sometimes I'll go weeks without self harm, sometimes I go a day or less. I want to fucking die but am too scared and chicken to just do it.
>>6638
I've had a near death experience so I can assure you there's nothing to worry about death and if you hang yourself correctly your brain will go on a euphoric trip before death.
>>6639
A hallucinatory euphoric trip?
Do you think if I tried hard enough to think about anime girls before the near death experience that I could live in an anime world until my brain fizzles out? Just wondering.
>>6551
>breaking down in my school at the time saying I'd kill everyone in the room
based, fuck normies
>>6645
anything is possible the trip normally reflects what you expect to see for instance i experienced only blackness but Christians may trip out seeing christ and Hindus seeing lord Krishna buddists going to nirvana. i hoped to see my waifus during my trip.
>>6650
Also I didn’t say it’s good to kill people
I just mean that expressing the thought of wanting to harm others is not necessarily pathological or worthy of condemnation
What's with the sudden influx of frogs and obsessions with being a bluepilled "based and edgy" larper?
Sorry if I derailed the thread a little. I'll add my perspective to some of the previous posts.
>>6650
Yeah, I agree with that. I don't exactly like that I have periods where I can only think about killing people; that's just how it is. I consider myself misanthropic but I know the reality is it's not even justified, let alone killing people over that. I wouldn't actually do it, it's just a trauma thing. Not "based".
>>6677
I somewhat agree with this too. Maybe I'm just tired of quack doctors not listening to any of my suicidal idealization and always putting the homicidal idealization at top priority, it was always at the top of all my medical papers. I once got a room to myself in a mental hospital though for that, fucking score! Everyone else needed to share, lol.
I'm surprised at all the self-harm here, something I thought was mainly done by teenage girls. I have almost the opposite problem - extreme hypochondria - I'm always having anxiety attacks over the idea that something is going wrong with my body. I have a backache and it's cancer. I make a typo and it's early onset dementia. Constant obsessive anxiety over wrecked my college studies and attempts at work, although it's probably not the only reason I'm a neet.
>>6761
Sex isn’t a privilege for women like it is for men.
If you’re an unattractive woman who only ugly broke guys want to fuck, there isn’t much of a benefit there.
If you really think sex/companionship alone is sufficient to end depression, start a Grindr account. I guarantee you’ll find someone there.
>>6761
That picture is retarded. If they just accept the random desperate men who will do anything for sex they will not be happy either. They'll be pumped and dumped and you'll call them a whore. They can't win with you, huh?
>>6551
>And here I am now alone and on government money.
holy shit you won at life
imagine getting sustained by welfare for saying an edgy line your school
>>6774
they(women) shouldn't have any say in anything. they should be distributed when they come of age. women are property - it doesn't matter what they want.